Crash Landing: PTSD, Alternative Treatment, and Secondary Traumas

Crash Landing

Last night I attended a film screening on campus for Crash Landing, a film produced back in 2005 about Canadian combat veterans, their PTSD experiences, and the lack of support they face in their civilian environments. Despite serving two tours in Iraq, this is the first time I’ve heard about the film. Visually, it layers on news footage, personal interviews, and dialogue that all work together to showcase that PTSD differs from person to person. Bosnia, Rwanda, Iraq, and Afghanistan were among some of the combat zones described by the interviewees.

There were many moments that evoke empathetic responses and also reminded me of some of my own experiences. It is a rare experience to hear veterans who suffer from high levels of PTSD share their stories in a public format. I applaud them for their courage; mental health issues seem to be a difficult chapter for the Canadian forces on the same level as it is for American veterans and not surprisingly, their VA system hasn’t quite effectively managed these needs as well.

For all the points where I agree with the film in showing daily struggles, revealing tipping point experiences, and coping mechanisms, I was frustrated and irate with how the after action panel disintegrated into an argument over the proposed use of cannabis as an alternative treatment for PTSD. There was a medical representative who stated there are only 2 FDA approved drugs to treat PTSD and one of them was described as commonly being employed to suppress sexual urges in incarcerated pedophiles. I understand her frustration that this drug with its side effects harms the reintegration of service members/veterans. However, there was a panelist who made such an improper display of himself that he hurts the viability of cannabis as one such alternative treatment, others being things like art therapy. Although I am not usually a vocal audience member I flat out interrupted him at one point to comment that the language he uses will cause people to view him as a pot smoking teenager and it’s important to consider his approach when discussing cannabis as an available treatment.

I am very open in the fact I’ve never tried cannabis. My dad regretted drinking and smoking pot so much during his high school years that it never interested me to try this recreational drug. As well, I’ve found the smell of pot smoke makes me nauseous. It is so highly irritating that should I later in life require cannabis as pain medicine over morphine, I would ask for it in some edible form. I cannot tolerate that smell. However, I am not above depriving others of their preferred form of medicinals; for two surgeries I’ve had I was prescribed Perocet and Vicodine and the drugs make me too tired or nauseous to eat that I cannot take them. I’d lose too much weight to be healthy.

There is a secondary get together tomorrow regarding alternative treatment (i.e. the potential of cannabis to treat PTSD) but I am not interested in attending. I do not wish to be in the company of the panelist who is likely to once again exhibit poor behavior because he lacks a full understanding of his position as representing other veterans and certainly veterans with PTSD. However, there are many insights I would like to share regarding my feelings as a combat veteran, the film, and cannabis as a form of medicinal treatment:

1. Employment Opportunities

One of the older audience members brought up the fact not all jobs will allow you to use cannabis. My husband and I also discussed this point further in depth today. Many veterans are attracted to government jobs and local law enforcement jobs where you cannot use drugs, to include cannabis. I interned for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service back in 2011. If I had pursued this career option further, one of the biggest selling points to this agency as a potential employee in my background is my lack of criminal involvement or experimentation with drugs. It’s important to also point out NCIS only picks roughly 150 interns a year and I was fortunate through hard work and good behavior to prove myself worthy of one such slot. If I sat around and talked casually about smoking pot to cope with PTSD, the door to that employment opportunity would have closed up quickly.

2. Secondary Trauma

The film should affect everyone a little differently. Some audience members might have a harder time watching the movie because they or one of their loved ones suffers from PTSD. Some veterans might be angry to see other veterans complain about their plight in life, especially veterans who have been directly shot at, have seen their friends killed, or who have had to kill an enemy combatant. Seeing the film might bring up bad memories and cause anxiety, which manifests itself in many forms. One of the things I wish I had seen in the film was individuals with different levels of anxiety and PTSD. The film focused on persons who suffered from severe forms of PTSD and I feel it once again perpetuates this myth that PTSD is always debilitating. Members of the audience went back and forth about their concerns about, “Is PTSD a death sentence?” and really, there is no right or wrong answer. Someone people might take their lives, some may not. There are so many factors that influence reintegration and also secondary traumas people face that make their lives feel meaningful or stressful.

For me, I struggled to fall asleep and stay asleep last night not so much by watching the trauma evident in the film but by adding another activity into my already packed schedule. I know a big part of managing my stress responses involves getting a regular amount of sleep and extra activities can make it difficult for me to relax and fall asleep or stay asleep. My preferred routine is to go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 6am. I haven’t held this routine for quite some time now but I know when I can, I feel like I’m at my peak performance.

3. The Fraudulent Claims Factor

I am not the only veteran to acknowledge that not all veterans act with honor and fraudulent claims bother me. I have much research ahead of me to unveil what information is available regarding veterans who claim disability for the sole purpose of upscaling his or her standard of living. Check out the VA disability compensation information is and you’ll see why I get bothered by people who fake disabilities for the purposes of cashing in on their military service. There are veterans who deserve treatment and every time someone abuses the system, he or she is taking away from their deserving peers.

The veterans portrayed in the film are but a small number of Canada’s armed forces but I was shocked to see they were involved with a $150 million lawsuit against the Canadian government. I do not deny them their suffering but I am curious at the extent of the lawsuit. Were others involved in the lawsuit who wished not to be filmed? I also wonder if these individuals were ever to receive a settlement would they consider how their benefit might harm the funding available to serve other veterans. There is so much to know and explore, but I would have enjoyed further information. In spite of my persistent chest pains, I could never imagine suing my government for my suffering. Once again, they are pretty well managed by diet and exercise but my curiosity was peaked at the end of the film.

4. “Broken” is Not At All How You Should Talk About Our Veterans

I am not broken. I do not like anyone calling our combat veterans “broken.” We are not pieces of china that fell on the floor. Some of us may suffer from traumatic brain injuries, others have PTSD, some may have dealt with military sexual trauma, etc. These events in our lives do not make us broken. Stop using this inappropriate term. You don’t call someone battling cancer ‘broken’; you have the wherewithal to say “He or she is dealing with cancer” and as such, should show the same respect for our veterans. It’s a big deal for them to share the issues they struggle with; General Mattis gave a speech about not giving in to this broken label and some of the flak I had with the film screening was the use of calling veterans ‘broken.’

I will always have a sense of awe when it comes to General Mattis. I had the privilege of working as part of a team creating briefs for him when he served as the Commanding General of 1st Marine Division and he is as blunt as everyone points out. Marines adore him and for good reason. He cares about mission accomplishment and he cares about Marines. He is not out winning the hearts and minds of politicians who don’t fight in the wars. He did an exceptionally good thing as a leader of Marines to remind all of us that we are not broken despite outsiders who might call us such. As such, it is important when a documentary focuses on veterans and/or their families that a certain amount of consideration comes into play to not describe them as ‘broken.’

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Then & Now Series: 9 January 2005 and 2015 Edition

I started a Myspace binder years ago of the journal entries I wrote from late 2004 to late 2007, which covered many transitions: relationships, changes of command, getting married, leaving the Marine Corps, and preparing for college. As eager as I am to engage other women in sharing their stories of choice, I am always a bit hesitant to share pieces of this journal. There are intimate details of people I’ve loved, my anxiety regarding coming home, my desire to get back to Iraq, and my struggles to have a private life in the face of being a female Marine.

In high school, I didn’t date much and as I considered myself to be on the periphery of popularity, I enjoyed certain freedoms regarding the few relationships I did have. I didn’t fear some other chick trying to steal my boyfriend. I was known more for my athleticism and bookish manners than my attractiveness so I didn’t attract the boys who wanted nothing more than to get into my pants. No one pried into how far I did or didn’t go with my boyfriends. I am very thankful in high school that my private life was private and I could share the details I wanted to but others were not privy to information that was none of their business.

Unfortunately, military life is not that way. Women make up such a small component of the Marine Corps and our dating and/or married status make us fodder for all sorts of inappropriate attention, comments, and behavior. My experiences are no different. Thankfully, I was treated well by a variety of men in my life-Marines I knew before becoming a Marine, Marines I served with, and the Marines I’ve met since, but there were those moments I could have done without and I will share more details of those unprofessional situations in a future post.

The Lonely Soldier....I could do without the generic label of soldier to define service members, but let's hope the rest of the book is good.
The Lonely Soldier….I could do without the generic label of soldier to define service members, but let’s hope the rest of the book is good.

There is a book called The Lonely Soldier: The Private War of Women Serving in Iraq by Helen Benedict I’m tasked with reading for one of my courses this spring for which I will share with you one of the few situations where I was sexually harassed by a superior who was probably too dumb to realize the inappropriateness of his actions. Although we are equally raised to be cognizant of inappropriate language, I feel he missed this message based on how frequently our shop talked freely about their sexual exploits or fantasies.

For a variety of reasons, I know it is important to share some of the more private moments of my life. I cannot encourage others to share their stories if I am not equally vulnerable. We cannot ask others to do what we ourselves are unwilling to do, so I must lead by example. I am cautious in sharing the few journal entries I am sharing today for a variety of reasons. These were entries shared with friends and family at a time in which my ex and I were very serious about our relationship. We had talked of marriage but never moved forward with any plans for an engagement. Many people, including my family now, did not know these details. I try not to compare one relationship to another; one relationship failed and the other survived. There is no one single factor that contributed to these situations but a series of events that extinguished what he and I had and what my husband and I were able to begin.

My courses have taught me one of the biggest risks we face in our research and findings is how it affects the target population. I want the stories of female veterans to be heard and as such, I cannot sanitize the truth to make it more acceptable. As a woman sharing this story, I will probably be criticized by a variety of people for engaging in a combat zone relationship. I was probably already criticized for previously dating someone legally separated from his wife.  My list could go on and one but the criticism over and over again results not from my actions but from others’ perception on what is socially acceptable behavior for a woman and for a woman in certain relationships.

Here I am in 2015, January 9th still subject to negative stereotypes based on my sexuality as a woman and the role women are expected to fulfill. Oftentimes, I go to work, I make the decision to not wear much makeup. I know society favors, and the beauty industry thrives, on telling women that a made up face makes us beautiful and hides our imperfections. Let me tell you, my skin breaks out easily from most foundations and even some tinted moistures and very often, I find these products further magnify the issues I see as problems–adult acne and dry skin (I do live in the desert). I enjoy being the girl-next-door kind of beautiful. I only require mascara, some slight blush, lip balm or chapstick, and some moisturizing products to feel glamourous. These few items allow me to look more awake when I’m tired but are not so heavy that if I touch my face, the look comes undone. This “face” is my beautiful.

As I am not in the Marine Corps anymore, I have more freedom to be an individual. I’m dying my hair red for the first time in my life. Although I could have done so in the Marine Corps, we are restricted to hair color choices that are “natural” for our physical appearances. For example, it would not be appropriate to have the chunky blonde highlights nor would the service allow me to do the ombre colors that are very popular today.

Here is a reverse ombre hairstyle photo I found on the internet.
Here is a reverse ombre hairstyle photo I found on the internet.

My hair was also restricted to being up and off the bottom edge of my blouse collar, which is part of the reason I am still most comfortable wearing my hair up as opposed to being down. My daughter and I are enjoying one of our particular mother-daughter outings on Saturday as I get my hair dyed and cut and she gets hers trimmed. She has already requested some pink for her hair and thankfully, my hairstylist has hair chalk for her which washes out easily.

And on the news front, I got a limited glimpse today about a standoff in France in which a few terrorists and quite unfortunately, a few hostages, were killed. I was incredibly busy at work and so I didn’t get to stop to watch the news in full. I hope tonight to watch the news and learn a bit more about what’s going on. It sounds as though it might be related to the terrorist attack at Charlie Hebdo, but I’m not entirely sure.

Take care everyone,
Cheryl

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Where Terrorism and Freedom Collide: The World Says “Je Suis Charlie”

The world watched today as innocent civilians were murdered in brutal fashion by three terrorists, one turned himself in and two remain at large. While all acts of terrorism should rightfully be condemned, it is especially disgusting to see civilians attacked because radical persons are offended by religiously offensive cartoons. The world will change in the wake of the loss of these persons. It changed in the duration of the last moments of the lives of the fallen, it changed in the hunt for the suspects, and it will change again when the murder trials begin. Unfortunately, other radicals will be inspired by today’s action, but thankfully, so many more are inspired to say that they abhor terrorism. Je suis Charlie, they say, in regards to the Charlie Hebdo magazine office and its staff targeted today.

Terrorism and freedom collide. It happens over and over again in history. That’s not to say the people who died today deserved to die. They did not. They did not deserve to be victimized for their life’s work, in spite of how this work offended others.

There is a false sense of security we all, non-radical Muslims included, are lulled into when we believe we are safe from such attacks. I don’t want to go into detail about my beliefs regarding tactics, strategies, and the role of complacency and vigilance in preventing victimization and being victimized. There are things I know and believe based on how I was taught as a United States Marine. No one is perfect at preventing themselves from becoming a victim of any number of crimes, especially terrorism. However, we should not cower in fear. Being afraid to live lets terrorists (of all sorts) win.

We should mourn the passing of every person who died today, just as our hearts have mourned other terrorist victims. Their lives were snuffed out in cold blood. Children will grow up without their parents. Spouses will go on without their partners. Life dreams will never be fulfilled. A business has suffered the incredible loss of valuable team members. A nation has seen terrorism creep under its doorstep and invite itself in.

I wanted to write recently about the end of the war in Afghanistan but clearly, today’s terrorist act proves that terrorism is an insidious weed that crops up time and time again. Its locale changes. Tactics change. Victims have new names and new faces. Terrorists are replaced by new followers. But we can take terrorism down at its knees because terrorism is oppressed when the world stands united and says, no more.

It is a daily battle to combat terrorism and it’s not always easy, but it requires people to live their lives. Enjoy each day you are given. Seek out work you enjoy and keep good company with your family, friends, and peers. Seek out new challenges and great adventures. Do not be afraid to fail because that is how you learn and thrive. Enjoy your privileges and seek to make them available to others. Equality requires us to recognize the disenfranchisement of others, empower them, and find ways to reduce social injustices. It is a global effort to cut the bloodlines that feed terrorism, but it is up to ordinary citizens to take the first steps. The more steps we take together, the more victories we make. Do not be afraid to make the world safer for yourself and your respective communities.

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Housing Allowances : Who Gets and Doesn’t Get a Mortgage

I cannot, for the life of me, get us approved for a VA home loan. It just amazes me. I became a United States Marine. I served two tours in Iraq. I earned two Bachelor’s degrees. I’m working on a Master’s degree. But I cannot obtain a home mortgage using a VA loan. My biggest obstacle right now is the fact the overwhelming majority of our income, supplied by the VA nonetheless, doesn’t count?! I know it’s ironic. VA supplied income doesn’t count towards a VA loan. The greater irony is that two forms of income are Basic Allowances for Housing as part of our Post-9/11 GI bill benefits. Yes, money intended for housing cannot be used to purchase a house for oneself. I can blow all that money on rent, but I cannot buy a house with it.

It’s sad because it’s not a tiny amount of money either. One of these days I’ll write a post about why I’m comfortable talking money this casually with strangers, but it really can wait for another day. For the months of February, March, and April in the spring semester, my husband and I will accrue $2,922 a month in Post-9/11 housing allowances. We live in the Phoenix Valley and could rent a ridiculously oversized luxury rental home with all that money. It would be a waste, but that’s one way we could spend our money. In the eyes of our preferred lender, USAA, this money does not exist. I’m not bashing on USAA. They have their own policies to abide by and we’ve had great customer service in the past and throughout this frustrating process, but I’m disappointed. The explanation I received yesterday was we could stop attending school at any time and that form of income would dry up. (Today, I was also told that it’s the VA who makes this rule.) Really?! If I stopped going in to work, I’d lose my regular income, too.

The lending industry makes no sense to me. As I’ve discussed this matter more privately with friends, stories come out of the woodwork that people they know, whose existence is solely dependent on their Post-9/11 housing allowance, are getting approved for home mortgages. Veterans who do not work but go to school full-time are privileged to use their housing allowance on their own homes and not paying someone else rent. The USAA representative I spoke to yesterday even confirmed it’s possible a local lender could approve us using this form of income. So, if a local lender can use this income, why can’t one of the biggest banks in the world? A bank that can absorb a little more risk than a smaller, local lender?

I am a little angry about this issue because in the eyes of the lender, the $780 I pay in rent and the $750 I pay for daycare combined with the remaining amount of other debts we have leaves no room for a home purchase.

The beautiful home I've had my eye on since October.
The beautiful home I’ve had my eye on since October.

The home I want is a foreclosure and it’s unlikely I’ll find another in the neighborhood for quite some time. The listing agent dropped the price about $21,000 and I wrote him a heartfelt letter about my efforts to acquire the property. I asked him last night if he struggles to find a buyer would he would consider donating it to Homes on the Homefront. Honestly, I’m tired of investors picking up beautiful foreclosed properties, doing some basic repairs, and drastically hiking up prices that hurts local economies around the nation.

The answer I got back was disappointing. The individual doesn’t own the property but is a broker for Freddie Mac. He did offer his services as a broker but clearly he missed the point that I’ve struggled to purchase a home because two-thirds of my family’s income comes in the form of non-qualifying funds.

If you ever want to read a couple good books about the problem of society’s reliance on dual incomes in the housing market and the relationship between bankruptcy and lending practices, I highly recommend the following books:

Going Broke: Why Americans Can’t Hold On To Their Money by Stuart Vyse
The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle-Class Mothers and Fathers Are Going Broke by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi

Thankfully, I know our rental situation won’t last forever. Even if we are not fortunate to own a home before my husband becomes a lawyer, we’ve established the guideline that less is more. We do not want to be a “house poor” family and it stuns me to see homes in the $600,000 range in Gilbert, our favorite Phoenix suburb. It is hard for us to justify spending anymore than $200,000 to $250,00 on a home but honestly our goal is to spend even less than that on a property. It is even harder for me to justify spending a large sum to purchase a home after reading the two books I mentioned previously. Housing has been so artificially inflated with the competition between dual-income earners that it’s no surprise the housing bubble burst as badly as it did. It might not be a bad idea for us to wait for it to burst again because the local industry here in Phoenix clearly didn’t learn its lesson. New home subdivisions are cropping up incredibly fast and I wouldn’t be surprised if five years from now a number of the owners just walk away from their properties again when the owners realize they can’t make their payments or might be underwater on their homes.

If we brave a home purchase in 2015, it will require several things and I’m not sure it’s entirely still possible to get a loan once again since we lack that second “true” income.

-Get our second car paid off (possible before September 2015)
-Get our Apple card paid off (Will be done in January 2015)
-Stop paying for daycare (Will be done in May 2015)

Unfortunately, the other obstacle we’ll encounter is the multitude of other families looking to purchase before the start of the new academic year, which is another reason this December home was a good “fit” for us. Stay tuned….some day we might be homeowners. If the VA allows it.

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Merry Christmas: 2014 Versus 2004

Little Bit and I (Christmas 2014)
Little Bit and I (Christmas 2014)
The Family (Christmas 2014)
The Family (Christmas 2014)

A belated Merry Christmas to you all. I spent yesterday with my family taking family photos. I only get a few opportunities like this a year. My husband does not care to have his photo taken and I learned this year, it seems like this trait comes from his grandmother. She didn’t care for a family photograph during our August visit to Wyoming.

Our daughter enjoyed her gifts although she did complain about not receiving a remote controlled fairy from Santa Claus. Note: She only mentioned her desire for this present on Sunday when we saw Santa at the San Tan mall. Four days is not enough time to acquire such a gift and as we’ve seen, there aren’t any remote controlled fairies. We did find a (potentially) suitable alternative but Christmas is over. We do not need to cave in to her 4-year-old desires. Unfortunately, she’s been really bratty lately. She won’t nap and it’s turned her into a foul little monster on a number of occasions. We did not put her on the Naughty list, but’s it’s been quite a temptation for me.

I made a lamb bistilla yesterday for dinner; we had ham a few weeks back with my in-laws as they had plans to spend Christmas in Wyoming this year.

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We bought her a Lucky Fin Project ornament for the first time. She was born with a limb difference and after I became aware of this organization, I’ve been eager to buy her something special to celebrate her difference.

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And it’s important to also share where I was 10 years ago for Christmas.  During my first deployment, I was privileged to take an R & R (Rest and Relaxation) trip to Qatar.  In my case, the trip was during Christmas and I’ve included my journal entry from that time period.

Christmas 2004 (Qatar)
Christmas 2004 (Qatar)

Saturday, December 25, 2004
A Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas everyone. I got my Myspace to keep working (for now anyways). I am pretty excited about that. I think I sent hellos out to everyone that would look at their accounts so I love and miss you all. Things are going well here. Kind of strange getting some time off to relax. Can’t begin to tell you how awkward it is to be walking around without a rifle. I feel naked. I also feel strange actually getting to wear civilian clothes.

Right now I am actually in my Christmas attire. I have on a red long sleeve v-neckline blouse and jeans with a matching red choker. I only have sneakers so it’s not as dressy as I would like it to be. Took some photos, which I will try sending out once I leave this place. Yes, Leslie, this is what I was talking about. You will get to see me in cities, it’s what I was saying would be weird for you to see since I am here overseas. No it wasn’t some naked dudes or something like that, I am sure Jon would flip a gasket if they were.

I also have a nice fluffy blue sweater for tomorrow, jeans, sneakers, like today and I get to go out on the town tomorrow to a mall!!! Every girl’s favorite pastime (maybe not, Laura I don’t know if you like shopping or not, you said you hate barbie doll females).

I plan on taking as many photos as possible, which is kind of limited here because of the cultural atmosphere. They aren’t like Americans who snap photos like the crazy tourists we are and they also have a big thing with modesty, hence my two long sleeved shirts even thought it is probably high sixties maybe even low seventies. I don’t know. Will get back to you all later. I love and miss you all. Keep in touch.

Cheryl

Look at all that pretty jewelry....I bought a Full doll instead.
Look at all that pretty jewelry….I bought a Fulla doll instead.
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Warpaint Update and Female Veteran Issues

I’m happy to report my artwork, MOPP Ops, was selected for the Student Veterans of America Presents: Warpaint art competition. It is a piece I drew back in 2006; it is sarcastic without being offensive and playful in light of inconveniences service members face on deployments.  To honor my service branch, I used a double mat to frame the drawing.  It has a larger blue mat with an inner smaller red mat to mimic the blood stripe on the NCO and Officer dress blues uniform trousers.   It will be shown at the National Conference in San Antonio from January 8-11th.  I won’t be in attendance, but Joanna Sweatt, our Military Advocate at ASU, will be going.  It’s such a great opportunity for her.  Medal of Honor recipient Corporal Kyle Carpenter (USMC ret.) and Shoshana Johnson (Army), the first African American female Prisoner of War (POW), are among the panelists scheduled for this event.

The top 40 pieces will later be unveiled in Washington D.C.  The top three competitors will receive scholarships and financial assistance to attend the unveiling.  I am putting the horse before the cart, but if I’m one of those three, I could use the scholarship money to help fund my t-shirt project.

I also wanted to share some news about female veteran issues.  Awhile back, I noticed the VA had some female service awareness information on their site and this morning, I found an article written about this action.

Is is silly that I absolutely love this one?
Is is silly that I absolutely love this one?

Back in 2010, I took photos of my daughter with my combat boots. A few of those photos are shown below.

Most people make the assumption these are my husband's boots.
Most people make the assumption these are my husband’s boots.
Oorah...Marine Corps!
Oorah…Marine Corps!
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Pakistan’s School Shooting

The world lost numerous promising young people yesterday. I know people die every single day; I am quite aware of the reality of accidents, injuries, chronic disease, and old age that play into these statistics. But yesterday, a large group of people were slaughtered, inside a school nonetheless.

For my generation, school shootings/mass shootings/spree killings have become unfortunately common. I know this type of violence crosses my mind in December because of the December 14th 2012 school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. The news media reflects on the loss of those children and the burden placed on their parents to move forward with their lives. Yesterday, this form of violence hit schoolchildren and their instructors in Pakistan. The news has stated the Taliban terrorists killed 141 people yesterday. The educators and children lost is a devastating blow to their respective communities, the global community, and most importantly, their families.

You should never be fearful of sending your kids to school, but that’s becoming a more frequent reality for families. While I was serving on my first deployment, a similar tragedy occurred in Beslan, Russia. The families of the victims of these tragedies, and other similar such tragedies, are bound in grief no one should experience. As a parent, my heart goes out to these parents and the loss of their children.

~C

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Student Veterans of America’s Warpaint: Art Competition

My friend and coworker, Joanna Sweatt, sent me the link to the Student Veterans of  America’s first national art competition and I’m here to spread the world.  Let’s get Post-9/11 vets to send in their stuff!!!  The first prize winner gets a paid trip to Washington D.C. and a $1,500 scholarship.

While I am not debuting my chosen artwork for the competition, below are two of my other pieces that I really like.

I loved to draw as a kid and frequently received different art supplies as a kid.  However, I learned that illustration is by far my favorite form of artistic expression, especially pen and Sharpie (not kidding).  It’s been awhile since I honed my skills but I am brushing up on them to create my t-shirt project.

Semper Fidelis,

~C

I drew this piece before my first deployment and it's drawn from a 35mm photograph I took at MOS school.
I drew this piece before my first deployment and it’s drawn from a 35mm photograph I took at MOS school.
Sandmen....Merry Christmas, everyone!
Sandmen….Merry Christmas, everyone!
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GI Bill Benefits: A Few Chapters

During one of my last classes, I surprised my professor, Dr. Kimberly Scott, and my peers with the fact my GI bill benefits are quite substantial. I don’t recall the exact discussion but I had made some reference to what my GI bill benefits pay for and like always, I tend to forgot that not everyone is aware of what benefits are available as a result of serving this country. As such, I added a widget on the front page of the blog to show the history of my own GI bill benefit payments.

I served from July 2003 to July 2007, which entitled me to 36 months of the Chapter 30 Montgomery GI bill. As a student, I am paid that benefit (based on my enrollment) directly and then paid the institution of higher learning for my semester program expenses. I used this chapter of benefits at Palomar Community College, the University of Wyoming, and for a brief portion of this semester at Arizona State University. It was not until I moved to Wyoming that I found out I could also qualify for Pell Grants to use with my GI bill benefits. Originally, veteran students could not qualify use the Pell Grant in tandem with earned benefits.

Now, it is also important to share that my benefits were further supplemented by two things. In 2003, when I met with the local Marine Corps recruiter, I was also offered the Marine Corps College Fund as an enlistment incentive (and one contract rank to Private First Class). This additional benefit, which added $3,000 to my educational benefits, was a privilege extended to me because I was coming in with college credits. The second benefit bump I received was by paying into the Buy-Up program. Individuals must make that decision while they are still actively serving. A service member can contribute up to $600 for Buy Up and in return receive up to an additional $5,400 tacked on to their Chapter 30 benefits. This additional cost was on top of the $1,200 I paid for the Montgomery GI bill.

I also served during a time period where I was eligible for the Post-9/11 GI bill, which I did not have to pay into to receive. I had the opportunity to switch over to Post-/11 with my remaining months of Chapter 30. So, for example, if I used 3 months of my Chapter 30, I would have 33 months available to use under Post-911. My second option, as I actually did, involved continuing my Chapter 30 entitlement and after exhausting, receiving 12 months of the Post-9/11 GI bill. For me, the latter option made more sense. 48 months of combined benefits is a pretty nice reward for serving my country.

It’s important for everyone to know that there are multiple chapters of GI bill benefits based on one’s time in service:
-Montgomery GI Bill (Chapter 30-Active Duty)
-Montgomery GI Bill (Chapter 1606-Selected Reserves)
-Reserve Educational Assistance Program (Chapter 1606)
-Post-9/11 GI Bill (Chapter 33)
-Survivors and Dependents Educational Assistance (Chapter 35)

Some of these options also provide educational assistance to dependents of service members. The Post-9/11 GI bill is unique in its transferability to dependents. The 33 Fry Scholarship is available to children (and soon to surviving spouses) of service members who died in the line of duty after September 10, 2001. Chapter 35 provides education benefits to dependents of service members who were killed while on active duty, died as a result of a service connected condition, or who are 100% totally and permanently disabled.

My Post-9/11 GI bill is at the 100% level and is graduated for service members in increments of 40% to 100% based off of one’s service time. For me, that means I get tuition and fees covered 100% at the highest in-state rate, I receive a book stipend up to 24 credits an academic year (max amount is $1,000), and my BAH. For ASU, the rate is $1,461 for a full month of attendance when enrolled full time. Fully online students only receive 1/2 the national average, $755 currently. As well, one must have a rate of pursuit in a session of 51% of higher to receive the BAH. Note: active duty students (or spouses of active duty members) do not receive a BAH because they have one already provided by the Department of Defense. This reason is also why some service members will conserve their Post-9/11 GI bill until after they get out and will use federal tuition assistance to off-set the cost of their education while on active duty.

My sacrifices were worth the benefit I received in return. However, I would not advocate that someone join the military solely on the premise of receiving GI bill benefits. We are a voluntary fighting force and there’s always the chance you could die before utilizing your benefits. You must go in with an understanding of this very real risk and think critically about the benefits and consequences associated with military service. When I served outside of Ramadi in late 2004 to early 2005, I was at a base that was frequently hit with mortars. On February 2, 2005, one of my officers was a casualty of one such mortar. He left behind a wife and he never had the chance to bring children, if he desired them, into this world. He also did not fulfill his desire to continue his education.

In other ways, his service protects the freedom of others and leaves behind benefits for his wife.

I try to remember to enjoy my privilege because I fought for our country and I was fortunate to come home. It would be a shame to waste my entitlement and let the 15 year entitlement period exhaust without using a dime of that money. So, am I nervous to share what money I received? Yes. There will probably be some flack from the non-privileged, to include veterans who did not get out honorably so they are not entitled to these benefits. But I am happy to share with the world that I am working to make full use of a benefit I earned.

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Building Homes for Heroes

I found another site which helps provide housing for veterans. This one caters to seriously wounded service members, so please help get the word around. The company is called Building Homes for Heroes. I don’t have personal experience with the organization but Googled “mortgage free homes for veterans” to see if other organizations do the same work as Homes on the Homefront. Below is a list of other organizations that either build new homes, provide donated homes, provides homes with reduced mortgages, or assists with adapting homes to suit veteran needs:

Homes 4 Wounded Heroes
Operation FINALLY HOME
Homes for Our Troops
Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes (This Resources page has a subsection for ‘Homes and Housing’)
Purple Heart Homes

I’m probably barely scratching the surface of what’s out there, but I am becoming more educated about the civilian partnerships out there to care for the needs of returning veterans. I am truly honored to see so many people who care about the wellbeing of our combat veterans in such a giving way. Please share this information with anyone you know who could benefit.

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