Budgeting in 2026

I write today’s post with full awareness there are such larger events more important than my blog. The wave of violence created by federal agents in Minneapolis made me quite hesitant to stick to today’s topic—budgeting. I decided to not adjust my focus, because I know how much of a difference better budgeting makes in reducing our stress (something we can control amid all those larger things sometimes outside our sphere of influence). Before I jump in today, it is my sincerest hope to see some restraints put on ICE and Border Patrol. If their actions were truly in upholding the law, they wouldn’t be running around in unmarked vehicles, masked, entering homes without warrants and failing to properly identify themselves and delaying care to assaulted protestors. This time of thugs has got to go.

Getting to serve you all within my capacity, you deserve to feel more control over your money (regardless of how much you bring home). We live in a society too often asking us to part ways with our money, be it requests to support your kid(s)’s school, political campaigns, local businesses, big box brands and their onslaught of advertising, and so forth. You are under no obligation to cave into peer pressure; as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Everyone draining your coffers conveniently for them also don’t or rarely contribute back to you in your time of need (in case you ever felt guilty for saying “no” or “not today” to their causes).

I recently finished reading Tori Dunlap’s Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy’s Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love. Some of the things she discusses are things I’ve implemented before reading her book or listening to her podcast, Her First $100k. She is honest about her disdain for Dave Ramsey’s outdated rules for financial freedom. And I’ve mentioned before that his teachings were causing me more financial stress than they were relieving. I also want to take a moment and say how fiscally scary it is to carry cash envelopes; if you get robbed, there goes money you cannot necessarily get back. If a person steals your credit or debit card, you can work more easily with your bank and contest the charges, reducing your liability for losses. Years ago, someone got access to one of my card numbers—still not sure how—and there was a charge for a flight to London. I coordinated with my bank and within a few days the situation was fixed. (My parents helped me financially for a few days while I waited for a new debit card since I was back in their state instead of where I lived at the time.)

Her guidance might rub something people the wrong way, and that’s ok. Her words point out directly systemic oppression’s role in crafting financially inequality between racial groups and men and women. Her frequent use of swear words might be off putting to others as well—personally, I use the word f*ck all the time, so who am I to judge?!

Do I follow everything she discusses in her book? No. Like she said, personal finance is personal. You mix and match based on your needs and goals. It’s a bit like finding a recipe you’re quite certain you’ll enjoy, but as you’re tasting it, you find it needs something added or swapped in due to liking other flavors (travel’s not your thing, ok save for something else you value more) or due to missing the ingredient in your pantry (in your case, say an employer doesn’t match your retirement contributions equally).

My financial picture changed dramatically last year, a good reason to re-evaluate financial goals. And it could potentially change (for better or worse) within the next five months. I am in the window of time where I should hear if my position is renewed. With my current health issues, it has been important to recognize if the role is not extended, I need to keep looking for positions less likely to exacerbate my problems. (Oh so much fun to have this extra layer of stress while job hunting as a pre-caution.) I generally like my position plus it pays well, so it would be ideal to have it renewed for another year. Staying in the same role has an added benefit that my supervisor is aware of my health issues and supportive of last minute health appointments when I need them. I also know, should I struggle with medication side effects or worsening symptoms, once I am past my 12 month mark, there is always FMLA leave I could access. Granted, I also could put in an ADA request at any time. (I haven’t taken advantage of my ADA rights at this time, but I do plan to submit a request after some additional medical tests.) 

With financial planning, I like relying on more than 3 buckets that Tori directs money to “go into.” The 3 buckets is great for beginners and people who don’t want to think too hard about their money. Right now, my husband and I still struggle with excess spending (like groceries and dining out) that I like seeing the percentages of individual category expenditures to help me track progress and setbacks. 

To aid me in my task this year, I chose Monarch as our budgeting app. (Note: This is not a sponsored post. I used my own funds to pay for the app.) They offered a 50% discount (still on their site as of this writing with the code NEWYEAR2026), making it worth the try. I had used YNAB (You Need A Budget) previously and their site kept having issues not syncing properly with my accounts, so my transactions were falling behind in being recorded. Not great when you paid for an app to make tracking easier. 

I love that Tori asks her audience, what is your first money memory? and mine feels pretty easy to recall. My mom was sitting at our dining room table interviewing me for paid household chores. The pay was paltry but I leapt at the chance to make money. Reflecting on the experience, it was pretty wise of her to interview us kids to make the tasks feel more important. (She also followed through and evaluated our adherence to cleaning up to her standards.) Me desire to support myself hasn’t changed much in life; as a kid, I took on more paid chores because I wanted more access to money and my almost relentless pursuit of higher education to make more helps me avoid being unable to attend to my wants. Needs are not being ignored here; I think I just realized the past several years that I could find something to support my family’s needs, but I wanted to ensure we’d do more than just survive. 

Tori’s idea to keep a money diary is a task I feel can be accomplished a bit more easily using Monarch as each transaction has a section to put in a note. I’ve used it recently to annotate why my phone bill spending was higher. After years of carting around an iPhone12, I upgraded, which could have been delayed a little but my phone’s battery life struggles didn’t make me sad to consider a replacement. I take some pride in not always getting the latest gadget: to me, it would be a waste of money.  

When I look at Tori’s idea of three money value (non-need based) categories mine are as follows: 

  • Travel
  • Groceries (beyond the basics, I’m talking food exploration type experiences)
  • Dining out (enjoying new foods and ogling restaurant decor is fun for me)

The top three things that matter least to me:

  • Designer clothes and accessories
  • “Beauty” splurges (say no to Botox!)
  • Exercise classes/gym memberships (I can sweat it out for free at home in my comfy clothes.)

My financial goals coming up in the next few years: 

  • Overseas trip this year (still saving)
  • Hawaii trip next year (start saving later this year after our overseas trip is done)
  • Fully funded emergency fund (full funding planned by May 2029)
  • Japan trip 2028 (start saving after this year’s overseas trip is done)

These goals matter for a few different reasons. First, my husband and I love travel, but we’ve never done a fun trip together overseas. Most of our travels were with the Marine Corps. Second, Hawaii was on our radar in for 2020 and then this not-so-little nightmare called the pandemic derailed us a few times from going there. That emergency fund matters. If I hit a bump in the road where I cannot work for health reasons or with of us ends up unemployed, I’ve over-planned our savings by assuming funding needs with both of us being out of the workforce. And Japan, well that is a gift for our future high school graduate. 

I am grateful my views towards debt have changed. I used to feel it was always bad and the right educators have taught me otherwise. Learning when debt is a tool to leverage versus when it is a burden is something I think we should all learn sooner in life whether or not we choose to take advantage of it. 

Now, that being said, I still wish the SAVE plan would have been allowed to go through. I qualified for Pell Grants while working on my undergraduate degrees and in 2013, the year after I graduated, I started a position making only $32,500 a year. The plan would have offset the years I struggled and it is hard to still see how much our society favors businesses, using the example of those businesses who obtained forgivable Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans during the pandemic while a lot of government officials criticize students who took loans out for their education and entered a workforce with stagnant wages. 

My financial priorities have changed over the years. Back in June 2017 money was tight. I left my pretty poorly paying job that paid into Arizona State Retirement (a bit under 12% contributed by me and an equal match by my employer). If memory serves me correctly, I was making about $36,000 and left for an only slightly higher paying position at $38,000, but the other employer, Grand Canyon University, did not pay into Arizona State Retirement. The small stretch in my monthly take-home was ultimately not worth it in the end. GCU’s low contribution to my 401(k)—I believe it was a 30 cents to the dollar as an employee I contributed and only up to 3% employee contribution, so even if I had more money to spare any extra contribution on my part resulted in no extra employer contribution. So, here’s how it looks. For a $38,000 salary, the 3% employee contribution is $1,140. 30% of my $1,140 leaves me with $342 my old employer oh so graciously chucks my way. 

If we looked at the same salary with an employer who pays into the Arizona State Retirement System, the results are dramatically better—assuming you can take a hit in your take home pay. ASRS currently is at a 12% contribution rate. This means the employer and employee both contribute $4,560 off the $38,000 salary. Nice, right?! What I wouldn’t give to go back and make some more financially sound decisions for myself!!!

Now, my goal is to stick it out with any one of the ASRS employers for however long I live in this state. ASRS is a defined benefit plan (guaranteed monthly benefit at retirement) compared to a 401k. Older me likes this safety net a lot more and having less take home pay is something I can manage now. 

Now, my responsibility to myself is to continue to always make enough that I can stick with an ASRS employer and ride the lower take home pay to serve the “retiree” me I hope to be someday. I don’t know if I’ll stay with the same employer I’m with currently; it is an option I’m exploring, but I’m keeping my eyes open for other opportunities, too. 

Aside from looking to retain my current salary, my husband and I are working on reducing certain expenditures in our lives to have more discretionary money for other purposes like domestic and international travel. We are opting to dial back some on grocery shopping and reigning in our dining out budget. We are going through a home loan refinance. We lose roughly a year of progress so we can take advantage of a 1% interest rate reduction. Bringing some closing costs to the table temporarily reduces our overall savings, but we’ll make up the difference before the year ends. If we were say 12 years into our mortgage, refinancing wouldn’t make any sense, but right now, it will give us an additional $400 or so buffer each month that matters if I don’t stay in my current role. Avoiding car loans is nice, too. Not taking on car loans is another way we’re reducing expenses in our lives. We have two paid off cars; mine is 7 years old and has less than 37,000 miles on it (one of the few gifts of the pandemic was driving a whole lot less!). I want to keep my car for at least another 5 years if it continues to run well. Once our daughter starts driving and later on drives a lot on her own, my husband’s car will become her vehicle and he’ll get a new car.

So that was a lot. I’m been itching to write about our financial journey, so thanks for walking this path with me today. 

—Cheryl

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Holiday Greetings

Hello, everyone. 2025 is almost over.

This year has seen a lot of change for my family. The freedom to rebound a bit financially has come at a good time as the economy has worsened here in the United States. I am blessed for the times I’ve been able to serve closest to me and those I don’t know but who need support throughout the year. I used some of our good fortune to send love back out into the world: sometimes it took the form of money in the most dire circumstances and other times it included donating furniture or clothes which no longer served us. I choose intentionally to not share the value of our charity, because I think that not only makes the action performative but it also has the risk of making those less capable of donating feel like they are not contributing as meaningfully to society. If their fiscal position means they need more for themselves, any amount of charity is enough. If they have more time constraints in their life, each smile and act of positivity is as meaningful as if they were able to host others or attend conferences or show up to petition. There are many ways to serve others and one is not more valuable than the other. They all matter to the end goal of caring for one another.

Little side quest for a second, I am still waiting for a diagnosis for my health issues. I figured some of my longterm readers might want an update. It kind of surprises me that we’re not calling it lupus at this point. I have the positive ANA test with the appropriate titer level. The joint involvement is a 6 and the photosensitive rashes (acute cutaneous lupus) I’ve developed warrant a weight of 6 putting me at a 12 overall, exceeding the minimum threshold by this 2019 criteria to classify my health situation as lupus. I meet with my rheumatologist in early January, so I’m bringing up this issue again. Currently, I don’t meet with a neurology team again until February and even then, that’s not a meeting to do a skin punch biopsy, which has been almost impossible to get.

Planning a relatively low key Christmas celebration and honoring a friend’s recent promotion by hosting her a party this past Friday have been two of my biggest joys recently. Our Christmas dinner plans have shifted as we have far too much leftover food from the party; we’ll eat up all that and either shift the holiday meal into the weekend after Christmas or–as needed–make it our New Year’s Eve dinner. Our party leftovers include taco dip and lime leaf scented rice, Mexican street corn, puppy chow (aka Chex Mix Muddy Buddies), brown butter chocolate cookies from Whole Foods, and this wonderful shortbread chocolate lover’s dream dessert a friend made that is modest layer of shortbread with a layer of brownie and caramel topped with a thin layer of ganache. We have a huge responsibility to avoid food waste where we can and additionally, it does not hurt to have a holiday meal composed of leftovers. The food was still made with lots of love and is meant to be enjoyed.

Here are some tiny peeks of our home dressed for the occasion.

The gold garland comes from Bonjour Fete and the family of green reindeer are 3D printed.
The wooden Christmas tree decor is something I picked up at a holiday market years ago.
I am a huge Stitch fan. I even have a Stitch beanie for the few days it’s cold enough in Arizona to wear it.
A college friend of mine gifted us this book last year for Christmas. Isn’t it lovely?!
Even my dogs get holiday gifts. Bark Box provided them a dreidel chew toy as well.
The fabulous chocolate-shortbread dessert served on Bonjour Fete paper party plates.
A coworker of mine also sent me home with this lovely box of treats. She did a fabulous job and I love the generosity she’s extended to me this year as a newcomer to the organization.

For the first time in a number of years, I have an extended holiday break ahead of me. I will be using this time to relax with my immediate family instead of traveling back home to see my full extended family. We are saving up (and have been for some time) for a big trip overseas next year. I am keeping the timeframe and the locale a secret (for safety reasons), but post trip, I’ll do a in-depth blog entry or two about the experience. My break plans also include time to do some edits on my memoir, using the DIY MFA book as my editing bible. Additionally, I will stop into my local public library and grab a few reads to hold me through into the New Year. I am finishing up Anthony Bourdain and Laurie Woolever’s World Travel: An Irreverent Guide currently and might finish up another book that’s languished on my bookshelf.

Thanks for dropping by today. I wish you the very best regardless of where you find yourself as the year draws to a close. Please give yourself grace for things outside of your control and praise yourself for the moments where you stood up for yourself. 2025 has not been the greatest year for many of us and rather than pivot straight into “Let’s plan resolutions.” I feel it is best for us to grief what we lost, assess where we are today, and take the time to rest this season.

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Food Gratitude and Hushing Exercise Talk Ahead of Holidays

Before we begin today, let’s take a moment to acknowledge holidays can be difficult for a variety of reasons and for many around the world that struggle with eating disorders (past or current), body dysmorphia, discomfort with their size (feeling they are too big or too small) this time of year can be more challenging than it needs to be. As we sit around our own tables or gather with friends or family, let’s remind ourselves we should not be commenting about someone’s choice to eat or abstain from eating certain dishes or drinks. If someone wants a single serving or seconds, that’s their decision. No one should be chided to “walk off” their dinner or earn a slice of dessert either. (I personally like a nice walk after a Thanksgiving meal, but it has more to do with the fact it’s finally cooling down here in Arizona instead of feeling like the inside of an oven.)

Holidays started to be a struggle for me a few years ago when I learned the hard way I had developed lactose intolerance. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it often felt like there wasn’t something that wasn’t full of butter, heavy cream, milk, or half and half. I started to dread the holidays, because I’d have to carefully consider what amount of dairy I could tolerate based upon taking Lactaid. I often found Lactaid worked well enough when a meal or snack was simple and only had one dairy source. It didn’t work at all for anything that still had lactose as an added ingredient, so I had to give up a lot of my favorite childhood mass produced chocolate candies like M & M’s. My husband discovered a better lactase enzyme tablet from a company called LactoJoy. It’s great for days where I don’t know if a meal will have a variety of dairy products in it although I am still hesitant to ever try M&M’s again. LactoJoy makes me less anxious about holiday meals, but I still work a little to reduce my dairy consumption around the holidays.

Having a holiday meal where it’s just my husband, daughter, and I is an easy way to find balance. Not that it’s always the case, but I do breathe a little easier when I have full control over the menu. This year we’re enjoying chipotle braised beef cheeks (from Olive magazine’s recipe that uses ox cheeks) over mashed potatoes and celeriac using lactose free milk and ghee and some cornbread muffins (my goal is to pick up Abe’s mini cornbread muffins, which are vegan). For this year, all the regular dairy comes from my dessert selections: a Maine Pie Co. gluten free pecan pie and homemade spiced apple cider ice cream using Yes to Yolks’ recipe. Our super easy Thanksgiving meal and dessert wasn’t really focused on paring back on the number of food dishes to avoid dairy this year so much as it was a way to avoid a lot of food prep that is difficult for me right now. (I made the ice cream last weekend to spread out the labor.) I am still working through a number of medical tests to determine if I am correct and this is an autoimmune disorder I am struggling with for any newcomers to my blog.

This has been a year of appreciating snacks and special treats. I thought about sharing some photos of great meals I’ve enjoyed out at local restaurants, but I think the simplicity of snacks cannot be overstated this year. Going out to a restaurant is work (certainly not something I thought I’d every say!). It’s work on a relatively healthy day to get ready, wait for a table, and wait even more for appetizers, meals, or drinks to be delivered; and it’s more work to go out on days where my pain level is worse and restaurants are colder than expected, there’s no seating available during our wait for a table, and I’m stuck standing around outside in the sun as my skin has become more photosensitive.

I know we all have our favorite snacks. As a huge fan of Oreos, I will tell you we currently have packages of regular Oreos, apple pie Oreos, and blueberry pie Oreos on hand. I can eat Oreos any time of day, but there’s been some other fun stuff I’ve come across the past several months.

Either of these elevates a cup of black coffee in the morning, but the kithul syrup’s smokey flavor is a nice touch for fall.
Certified vegan chocolate….and expensive for a chocolate bar, but it’s pretty tasty. It’s normally $7 a bar if you don’t find it on sale. It’s not an every week kind of purchase.
Halloween has a special place in my heart. The moment I saw these chips (aka crisps) I knew I was buying them solely for the novelty color. I already love this brand of chip; the chips are a bit crispier than Pringles and as a food texture person, crunchy snacks make me happy.
If you need a savory snack, this one is perfect. We had a few slices of chorizo on Ritz crackers topped with homemade pimento cheese. I won’t call it “girl dinner,” because it irritates me that we label snack dinners grown women eat as “girl dinner.” This was our low effort dinner during one busy weekday evening.
I popped into this hotel bar for a little daytime date adventure with my husband. We both love a good Manhattan. Honestly, if I had been more hydrated and had eaten a proper breakfast beforehand, I would have finished my $20 barrel aged Manhattan. (So sad drinks have gotten this pricey.) The resort is already decked out for Christmas with glitzy trees, prepping for an ice skating rink, and bringing in/manufacturing snow for tubing. I do enjoy seeing all the holiday decor without having to maintain it myself.

My drink from Twenty6:

Manhattan – (Barrel Aged) 20
Rotating Bourbon (Russel Reserve, Makers 46, Wild Turkey), Port Wine,
Antica Sweet Vermouth, Angostura & Chocolate Bitters

I need to make something similar at home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas but using rye whiskey.

That’s all for today. I hope as we get closer to the end of the year everyone stays safe and is relatively happy. It’s been a crazy year across the globe and we could all use a few more moments in our lives where we are more neighborly towards each other. Open the door for someone in need. Maybe ask someone what book they’re currently enjoying. Offer to share a favorite recipe (it doesn’t need to be a family recipe, by the way!). Just be a good person and let good come back to you, too.

Take care,

Cheryl

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An American Health Care System Reflection: Costs

As the government shutdown in the United States continues, I wanted to take a few minutes and share a bit more about my healthcare journey this year. I am sitting on more privilege that other American peers. For all my health problems since March of last year, I haven’t born an unreasonable amount of health costs. I have my primary insurance and secondary insurance through the Department of Veterans Affairs. It’s the access to the second insurance that has made a difference in being able to seek medical care to the extent I’ve needed in my quest to understand the underlying condition causing my joint pain, nerve pain, lack of physical endurance–all of it.

Before digging into some financials, I want to say, I still have no answers on the cause but the evidence is continuing to point to an auto immune disorder. Earlier this month, I had some additional testing to rule out monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance (MGUS) that can develop into multiple myeloma. The bloodwork came back with no evidence of monoclonoal gammopathy and the hematologist also ran an Erythropoietin test for me since there is a blood disorder/cancer called polycythemia vera that has a lot of similarities to the symptoms I’m experiencing. (She had no concerns with the results that came back.) The abnormalities that we are seeing on repeated tests are elevated immunoglobulin M (IgM) levels, which can be evidence of a recent infection (which I haven’t noticed) and autoimmune disorders. The difficult thing for me is other than one positive ANA (Antinuclear Antibody) test, all the other tests that look for autoimmune conditions are negative including the ones that look for specific markers of lupus. This last time she ran an Anti-Nuclear Ab, IgG ELISA test instead of the ANA due to it being more sensitive and the results came back ‘none detected.’

After this last round of testing, I did inform the hematologist, I want to test out a theory of mine. I want to treat my next round of bloodwork in a similar fashion to a cardio stress test. I’ve been reducing my physical activity and have had less exposure to cold environments, which help manage my symptoms and I think that’s part of why my tests are inconclusive. I think if my second-to-last primary hadn’t been such a barrier to seeing a rheumatologist earlier, I would have had bloodwork that shows a true reflection of the inflammation when I hadn’t yet figured out how to manage my symptoms. To try and trigger a response is not something I’d recommend someone else pursue; I don’t know what damage this might do to my body, but I feel it’s one of my last options available to me to get the tests to show what body processes are malfunctioning when I try to live a more able-bodied average person existence (cooking more, doing more chores, exercising maybe an hour a handful of days in the week).

I hadn’t thought about how much of my health challenges I would share earlier this year and then I realized for someone with similar problems, it helps to hear from a kindred spirit running a gauntlet of tests for answers. From very basic research, it’s not uncommon for someone with autoimmune issues to go months or years until a diagnosis is made. (I’m hoping we’re not at the years plural part for me, but I’m already past the one year mark now.) So let’s shift to talk about how expensive all these things are.

Again, not expensive for me due to my particular situation, but this could be an absolute nightmare for someone else. When you sit and look at the battle of the government shutdown, affordable access to healthcare is not a small matter. And I will also say the pending lack of SNAP benefits for many of my fellow Americans IS ALSO not a small matter. And federal workers going without pay IS ALSO not a small matter. I know far too many individuals impacted by the government shutdown currently and it’s hard not be able to assist everyone without also putting my own fiscal security at risk.

Rather than let the conversation run away from us, let’s focus on the charges for some of these medical visits and tests.

Sometime before mid June, my health care costs already hit my family deductible ($3,300). Due to my decision last year to make use of my VA healthcare benefits in tandem with my outside medical coverage, I haven’t had an out-of-pocket expense. I was hesitant to switch care providers, but I went to a non-VA emergency room years ago and paid $200 out-of-pocket to be seen and saw what they charged my insurance company. I knew if my health worsened (and it has!) I’d get to the point where my medical care costs would be unsustainable and I’d potentially have to avoid seeking medical care. Letting medical problems fester is not the solution.

So I hit the deductible before June 15, 2025. ($3,300).

In August 2025, a visit to a neurologist resulted in a $401.08 charge.

A visit for bloodwork in late August had two separate billings: $660.05 and $456.36.

Bloodwork in September (a total of 13 line items) was billed for $2,477.00.

A Veterans Affairs Community Care neurology visit (meaning I saw a provider outside the VA) in September where I was only seen for 6 minutes–six freaking minutes–resulted in a bill for $307.55.

I needed that visit to request a skin punch biopsy, one of the tests to help diagnose a potential “lupus cousin” autoimmune disorder.

My October bloodwork (11 individual line items) ran up the largest amount billed in the amount of $2,937.00.

The physician services portion of that same visit ran in at $359.00.

Dear readers, that comes out to $10,898.04 of medical expenses and no answers.

I cannot receive any form of targeted treatment until we’ve determined what’s broken.

I am blessed that I don’t have to find a way to pay this, but many of my fellow Americans have that problem. That have zero answers and nothing but bills for their time. They are drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Their plight for affordable health care is different from someone who rarely, if ever, needs medical care and who looks down on those with frequent doctors visits. Your neighbors aren’t a drain on the system; most are trying to lead better, healthier lives and if their health isn’t improving, they’re trying to have a comfortable existence until they pass away. Have some compassion. Anyone can have their lives turned upside by a medical problem.

A recent photo of me. You wouldn’t be able to tell how crazy my health has been this past year.
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I’ve Never Kept Up with the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge

Gilmore Girls became my biggest companion during terminal leave–the show filling a void left behind when I no longer congregated daily with people. I became immersed in the small town of Stars Hollow, an imaginary community even smaller than the town I lived in during high school. Rory was–and forever will be–smarter than me. I have no qualms admitting that I never adopted her studious habits although I have considered reading many of the books she’s described as reading or books being associated with the show that have never been in my TBR pile. Apparently, I have a big challenge before me: Goodreads pegged her list just below 400 titles although other sites vary.

If I went back and looked over my life, I guess it’s likely that I’ve read something in that ballpark. I don’t keep all of my books though, and that’s what creates a real challenge for me. Maybe I could be considered a prolific reader even though I am not a fast reader.

This year I’ve taken up a greater appreciation for books from the public library. Not only do I want to reduce how much money I’m spending on books that I might not read more than once, I want to explore books that I wouldn’t have found so easily if I had wandered into a bookstore. Librarians are amazing people, and it is hard to see their world treated like garbage because many on the right have strong opinions against topics and books they find controversial. These professionals are my main points-of-contact for finding non-American, immigrant, and first generation American authors and I love their collections of cookbooks to hone my culinary skills. (Cookbooks are expensive!!!) My life is monumentally improved because these individuals studied library and information science for their career choices and their knack for designing the layout of my local spaces means it’s fun to wander my favorite sections and also to rush to the array of new books for a more unexpected find.

Reflecting on my admiration for the show (for the most part!), I think I am most appreciative of who Rory is as a learner. In this regard, I speak of her life outside of school and not her struggles to keep up with the Chilton students who have more experience with rigorous academic curriculums. We don’t get the full details on how she’s amassed her sizable book collection given her mom’s modest income, but there is a scene where she’s hunting for books at a massive town sale that gives me the idea the community book sales likely played a role. Getting books for cheap (or borrowing heavily from the public library) is a blessing I think we should all appreciate. Learning should always be accessible. (Side Note: Because I did not notice any books in the show with spine labels complete with Dewey Decimal markers, I think Rory’s books are either purchased or gifted to her or she gets school copies to return at the end of her classes.)

To go back to the show referenced reads for a minute, here are books I know with certainty I have read at some point in my life:

  1. The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald
  2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  3. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank (I’ve read it two or three times)
  4. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  5. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
  6. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
  7. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
  8. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
  9. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (love it)
  10. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
  11. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
  12. The Iliad by Homer
  13. Beowulf
  14. Night by Elie Wiesel (How anyone can deny the Holocaust after having read his story or about Anne Frank I will never know.)
  15. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
  16. Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt (I loved Angela’s Ashes and hated ‘Tis)
  17. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire (I’ve read all the Wicked books…love them all)
  18. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (one of the most life changing books I’ve ever read)
  19. The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
  20. Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust (I powered through it over a few years and I can see why Rory’s mother, Lorelai, gave up on it! It’s exhausting to read for the most part, and then there are moments of brilliance.)
  21. The Odyssey by Homer
  22. Shakespeare’s Sonnets by William Shakespeare
  23. Stuart Little by E.B. White
  24. My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult (honestly, each book of hers I’ve read has been wonderful)
  25. The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
  26. A Separate Peace by John Knowles
  27. The Crucible by Arthur Miller
  28. Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach (I don’t recall seeing this in the original series or the revival, but since it’s included from the list I reviewed, I will keep it listed for now.)
  29. Walden by Henry David Thoreau
  30. Sophie’s Choice by William Styron

How much of Shakespeare’s works outside of her sonnets I read from high school is murky for me. I don’t recall if we read the other works described in Gilmore Girls in their entirety or in selected pieces, so I am not including them here.

I went into this blog thinking I maybe only read 5-10 books that were referenced on the show. To have read 30 of them is a nice surprise for me.

We must remember that reading is a personal endeavor. There are some stories we come across in our schools that we like or dislike. There are some stories we might not encounter in our K-12 education system due to book bans and as adults it is our responsibility to think for ourselves about whether we’d like to read them or not. Some of our peers are faster readers and others savor a book like a quiet afternoon sipping coffee at a local cafe. One is not better than the other: the pace we approach reading a book will greatly influence the things we notice in it. There are times we have to consume a book like a meal on the road. Ploughing through a number of textbooks in a college semester is one such example. Sometimes, we’re busy as parents or holding down multiple jobs and skimming a book gives us enough escapism for that period of our existence. Other times, we want or need to slow down. I am in the second season. I’ve slowed down more than intended last year and this year. My health challenges have made even holding a book in my hands uncomfortable at times, and I haven’t yet found a love for audio books the way others do. For that reason, my reading list is shorter but one of great intention.

I might finally have some real answers this week on what’s going on with my body. The news will likely influence my future reading choices much like how physical pain the past year has taught me to appreciate reading as a different form of exercise.

These books aren’t all I’ve read this year. I read a lot of news and my work entails a significant amount of reading each day. If you’re like me and haven’t added a lot of books to your finished pile, don’t feel bad. Reading in all its forms matters. I’m too lazy to tally how many news articles I’ve read and my work involves reading and re-reading a lot of the same internal and external references that shape my work environment.

My 2025 completed reads are as follow, save for The Lupus Encyclopedia. I read most of the book when I was concerned my health woes were this autoimmune disorder.

  1. Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas
  2. No Two Persons by Erica Bauermeister
  3. No Ordinary Assignment by Jane Ferguson
  4. The Living and the Rest by Jose Eduardo Agualusa
  5. They Will Tell You the World is Yours: On Little Rebellions and Finding Your Way by Anna Mitchael
  6. Investigating Lois Lane: The Turbulent History of the Daily Planet’s Ace Reporter by Tim Hanley
  7. Year of the Tiger: An Activist’s Life by Alice Wong
  8. The Comprehensive Whiskey Course: A Comprehensive Tasting School in Ten Classes by Robin Robinson
  9. The Cemetery of Untold Stories by Julia Alvarez
  10. The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen
  11. The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life by Mike Rucker
  12. She Followed the Moon Back to Herself by Amanda Lovelace
  13. Let Me Be Like Water by S.K. Perry
  14. In Conclusion, Don’t Worry About It by Lauren Graham
  15. The Death of Expertise: The Campaign Against Established Knowledge and Why It Matters by Tom Nichols

I am currently reading the following:

  1. Wayfinding: The Science and Mystery of How Humans Navigate the World by M.R. O’Connor
  2. The Art of Danish Living: How to Find Happiness In and Out of Work by Meik Wiking

Before I close out today’s entry, I thought I’d mention that I don’t count cookbooks as reads. Cookbooks are valuable reading resources, too, even though I’ve excluded them from my personal book count. The one I’ve read almost in its entirely over the years is Samin Nosrat’s Salt Fat Acid Heat. Of the handful cookbooks I’ve purchased, including this one by Samin, most will devote pages before and after recipes with paragraphs about the origin of the recipe or ingredients or a story about that person’s upbringing. The same is true for most of the cookbooks I’ve borrowed from the library, and it would be considerate of me to carve some reading time for those stories in the same manner I’ve devoted myself to the recipes within those pages.

Wishing you all the best.

~Cheryl

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My Home Is My Writing Space

Good morning, everyone. I am checking in with you all before I start work. Today is a WFH day (yeah). I love starting my morning off with more of a leisurely pace. My new position has allowed me more freedom to work towards completing the first draft of my memoir. I work from home three days a week, giving me an extra hour before my shift to tackle my writing project. My goal is to complete the first draft in October. A desired concurrent goal was to also re-do all the OIF 2-2 casualty data I lost from a previous computer, but I am becoming more aware it’s better suited to a project that runs concurrent to editing my memoir drafts.

Drawing inspiration from Rooms of Their Own: Where Great Writers Write by Alex Johnson, I am letting you all take a small peek at my current home, my preferred writing space. My new home is filled with more natural light than than any of the homes my husband and I have purchased before; it also has more natural light than any of our rental homes, which have been journaling spaces but not any place where I’ve taken up memoir writing. I’ve also occasionally written in my working spaces, but those are brief pockets of break time that only permitted me, at best, a paragraph or two towards my project.

My current home is equipped with a large rectangular dining space that is opened to the living room and within sight line of our kitchen, but my preferred “public space” of the home to write in would be this breakfast nook. I like having the large window behind me. My preference is to write with natural light, but I’ll write in the evening parked under can lights or a ceiling pendant when the task requires it.

I draw a lot of inspiration for my writing from other books. You can learn a lot about what shape you want your memoir to take when you read other memoirs. A big decision I came to was not to use my memoir as a place to bitch about exes and family dysfunction. There might be a moment to share something that speaks to grief and stepping into my own potential due to being let down, but I’ve cringed at how I’ve seen other women left raw emotions in their memoirs instead of taking the necessary time to step away from the experience and learn from it. The two memoirs that made me cringe are Maid by Stephanie Land and Shade It Black: Death and After in Iraq by Jessica Goodell and John Hearn. Instead, I’ve found the way someone unpacks their past with critical awareness is someone I want to learn from; two of my favorites: Mary Pflum Peterson’s White Dresses: A Memoir of Love and Secrets, Mothers and Daughters and Jane Ferguson’s No Ordinary Assignment (still reading it currently). Once I complete my memoir draft, I’ll probably share a list of key books that helped me accept being vulnerable in my writing and those that have helped me improve my actual writing skills. (Dialogue writing is still a weakness of mine; I don’t like putting words in people’s mouths from memory.)

My family bookshelf includes cookbooks, a mixture of fiction and non-fiction works, and a rotation of library books.

I will admit, like a lot of writers, I also like a glass of something special while I write. Don’t judge! We had the option of purchasing a larger, less expensive wine fridge, but we went with a smaller, retro look Rocco fridge instead. We like the space on top for the bigger bottles and the different zones within allow us to balance the needs of wine, beer and non-alcoholic beer, and a few bottles of spirits. This won’t necessarily be a good fit for those concerned about kids getting into alcohol. We don’t have any little ones running around (save for a high drive Belgian Malinois). Our teenager is also incredibly responsible, and unless we notice a change in her behavior, we trust that we can leave our alcohol setup as is.

Last thing…every writer needs a snack of some sort. Our new pantry is decently sized. As time permits, I’d like to obtain a quote to make better use of the space, but this is a small peek at what we’ve got going on here. It’s not abnormal for us to have multiple boxes of Cheez-It’s and at least two flavors of Oreos in stock. The pantry is in less of a state of identity crisis compared to last year when we moved in. Out of sight, I have most of our flours lined up together; the salty snacks (olives, pickles, etc.) grouped in a bin; and chips usually end up together as neighbors.

Thanks for dropping in for a quick check-in. I only have a minute minutes left to spare before my paid job commences for the day, so it’s time for more coffee and a quick moment to organize.

Wishing you all the best.

~Cheryl

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A New Beginning

Just over a month has past since I left my position with the Department of Veterans Affairs, and I’m liking my newfound settings. I was a presenter today for my new organization, not adding a whole lot to the overall day’s activity with the one PowerPoint presentation, but I was honestly surprised just how many questions were generated off my suggestions.

I carried a lot of doubt with me into my new position. It’s hard not to–I served veterans for the bulk of the past twelve years. As each new day gives away to another, I am starting to see it has all been quite relevant. I’ve gotten so used to laws changing every year that I look for the little tweaks that have the biggest impact. Today, I discussed with the lawyer present in the room how I didn’t have the interest or stamina to put myself into the legal field but my public work is adjacent to it and I feel I found my calling. A calling more natural to me than serving veterans. When I cared for my previous population, I often struggled to separate myself out for the situations they were in; I guess pretty normally that one veteran would want to keep another veteran from struggle. In my new role, I don’t have names and faces that I serve; I look at them as a giant group who need my respect, diligence, and patience to build a better system of tools to access benefits, understand their performance tools, and so forth.

Like my work with the VA, I will remain closed lipped on my current employer. Should we later terminate this working relationship, I will likely discuss my work with greater reflection on lessons learned, salary, and so forth.

Today’s blog entry was really a lot of sharing that I am happy and in the best paying position of my career. I’ve never earned six figures, and it’s wild, scary, and empowering. I get to see all my hard, unpaid (excluding VA education benefits) efforts in school and struggling through periods of underemployment helping me build a better legacy for my family.

Stepping out of veteran-centric spaces, I don’t know where the future of this blog will go. Maybe a name change will be in order. Maybe a new focus will reveal itself. For the time being, I will continue my quest to write monthly and be a voice of strength and encourage others to pursue their wildest (legal) dreams.

Before I close out for the day, a health update is in order.

My newest rheumatologist thinks my health problems are a lupus cousin, Sjögren’s, although I haven’t noticed the most common symptoms. She is also looking at the possibility of small fiber neuropathy. We still have work ahead of us, so right now, I am just accepting the summer heat is my best source of managing pain and choosing to not donate blood whenever blood donation opportunities come up since I don’t know if it’s safe for me or any potential individuals needing a blood donation.

Take care and I’ll try to drop in again in August.

Sincerely,

Cheryl

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Saying Goodbye to My Federal Employment “Dream Job”

Last month I forgot to check in with you all—my sincerest apologies might not mean much as I’m a stranger to most of you all, but I try to keep my “appointments” with you. A friend date of sorts is how I’ve tried to start treating my writing check-ins.

For those who have also kept up with checking in, you’ve seen me struggle with how the Trump Administration has treated federal employees. The stress since he returned to office runs the spectrum: some people barely notice him and others have had their jobs ripped away from them. Adding to the situation is the complicated feelings within families regarding values. My heart truly goes out to my fellow federal employees who lost their positions only to face the insult of family members cheering on this slash and burn approach to reducing the federal government. Many within the federal government would also tell you there are more efficient ways to do things, but cutting jobs before assessing what they actually contribute to public safety and services puts the public at risk that negates whatever reduction in spending resulted from it.

I was also stunned that the message was “reduce federal government spending” while rolling out the Deferred Resignation Program. These two short-term objectives are directly in opposition to each other and then the mixed messaging associated with DRP added other challenges as agencies sorted out what roles qualified—a kind of reverse sorting hat than the one in the Harry Potter films and books. Instead of asking ourselves what traits suit someone to a particular house (or job), the agencies have had to ask themselves in whittling down their forces per the Reduction in Force guidelines thrust at them what jobs are more valuable to the mission and what has the appearance of redundancy. I won’t say what jobs are redundant, because as our society has grown it was wholly necessary to increase the federal workforce to provide more services and more timely services.

I had a great local team in my current role who have helped enable me to keep my position while navigating my current health challenges. My supervisors never stood in my way of the medical appointments I needed and I had the open door policy to ask any myriad of questions to be better at my job. With choosing to leave, I feel it’s safe to open up about the type of work and why I’m leaving.

For just over two years, I’ve made the Department of Veterans Affairs my home and just last year I became a Rating Veterans Service Representative (RVSR). I would review claims for disability compensation, and I loved a lot of what I was tasked with to serve our nation’s veterans. This is the job I started chasing down years ago. I thought critically about what I’m leaving behind: a supportive coach and assistant coach, coworkers and friends I care about, and a meaningful mission.

So what happened?!

The return to office order added challenges to my quality of life. Although I am continuing a workup for lupus, I have the mental energy to keep working. What I needed was a reasonable accommodation to telework under my old arrangement because the cold of the office environment and extra physical activity increase the severity and frequency of body pain I’m dealing with currently. We occupy GSA-leased buildings and are prohibited from using space heaters at work. We also have limited parking, so the employee parking lot was limited to more senior employees based on service computation date. I found an alternate parking arrangement, but it does mean more physical activity that worsens my symptoms.

I started the reasonable accommodation process back in late February and when it was still lingering close to the return to office date, I even asked for an interim RA at the start of May. The request was still lingering when I inquired about it last week.

I am fortunate my coach and assistant coach were willing to hear me out on my frustrations and understand why I am leaving. The hope is my complaint and departure lights a fire for positive change.

I am working through the background check for a new hybrid position that has employee parking on site that should allow me to better manage my symptoms, allowing me to retain employment on par with my education and career background. For now though, I am working on getting my home and wardrobe in order for the new position and trying to relax a little amid this originally unplanned career departure.

—Cheryl

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America the Beautiful Becomes America the Dumpster Fire

I’m one of the many Americans disappointed Trump is back in office. I am not alone. Many people are taking different approaches to highlight his (and Musk’s) ineptitude and how the cruel actions of these two men are harming Americans and our global relations now that the new administration underway.

There’s so much I could say and want to say, but I love the slew of images capturing the situation right now. We’ve got some serious “Did that just happen?” stuff going on. Let’s dive right in.

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