Why do we become war fighters?

Since January, I’ve been a part of a new course exploring women warriors.  We’ve discussed the label ‘warrior’ and its application to causes we agree and don’t necessarily agree with and the women who participate.  Repeatedly, we discussed the difference between masculine violence and feminine violence.  As peers, we discuss, almost equally, how society accepts male violence as a natural experience (for a lack of a better term).

I cannot speak for all societies but American media have target demographics for films, videos, video games, and television shows.  Spongebob Square Pants (a cartoon my daughter is not allowed to watch), Archer (which my husband and I watch) and American Sniper (which neither my husband or I have seen, nor would we let our daughter watch) are but a few examples.  While they are not equally comparable, they are well known to the general American public.

I just thought of mentioning Archer creators were probably regretting naming the spy agency ISIS (International Secret Intelligence Service) but I’m so far behind the times, it’s already no longer in use.  No one wants to be associated with the bad guys (and women).

So, on our side, why do we want to be war fighters?

I won’t say why does someone want to join the [military] service because there are a lot of privileges with this career choice.  Education benefits (on different scales), a steady paycheck (when you don’t have a ‘no pay due’–which can happen, sometimes), health insurance (for those planned and unplanned babies…or martial arts injuries), and so much more.

I speak playfully about military service because I know the ‘warrior’ side but I also know the young warrior side.  There is a great amount of sarcasm and camaraderie behind the uniform, especially for the 18-30 year old group (and those still wishing they were 18-30).

On a serious note though, it’s easier to bring a war to someone else’s front door than for it to be on our own.  The Boston Marathon Bombing trial is a reminder terrorism costs lives, not just those who choose service but those standing (literally) on the sidelines.  Whole futures were trampled, families are broken and while justice will be served, the damage cannot be undone.  This loss and the desire to prevent the future deaths of innocents is why people become war fighters.

It’s not why they join the service, but why they join the fight.

A child should not know this kind of fear.
A child should not know this kind of fear.
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Time Management

Thank you again for your patience while my blog entries are a bit spaced out from one another.  April is crunch time for me this semester.  This semester, I’ve tried harder than the last to implement backwards planning (back) into my life.  Last semester, I took on the task of two graduate level courses while fulfilling a typically 40 hour week, which at times, extended into 45 hour weeks.  Offhand, I don’t have the total number of hours I completed overtime, but between semesters, I accrued an additional 21 or 22 hours.  The challenge this semester was taking 9 credit hours.  I DO NOT recommend such drastic actions for anyone, but there were three objectives behind this reasoning:

1.  Immediately earn more income (i.e. a higher rate of pursuit means a higher Post-9/11 housing  allowance.)

2. Reduce the overall time it takes to complete my Master’s degree.

3. Complete Master’s degree before my husband starts law school.

Whereas money is concerned, we’re doing well enough for ourselves.  We are, by American standards of living, potentially average for our age group.  Originally, we were very eager to earn more income to draw us one step closer to a home purchase.  We still are several steps away from  taking that leap and I, more than my husband, must remind myself a home purchase is truly not an essential accomplishment in life.  Many people do not own their own home, but they find happiness through other means (spiritual, social, academic, and so forth).  However, earning more money has enabled us to move out of ASU’s family housing, which no longer fit our lifestyle.

We found a 1,434 sq. foot home with a modest yard and a two-car garage that suits us perfectly.  In nine years of marriage, this is the first residence we’ve rented with a garage! It’s quite a life-changing moment for us.  Other Americans might scoff at our “tiny” residence but it’s a lot of house for us given how well the floor plan was designed.  We have more than sufficient storage.  It’s a safe, friendly neighborhood close to our favorite amenities, and we have the space to add a dog to the family in due time.

Adding a not-entirely planned move to our schedule fit (for me) because I’m trying to use backwards planning on my other objectives and rearranging my plans as necessary.

So, some goals/projects on my plate are as follows and their associated tasks.  I’ve specifically left out the timeframe it took to accomplish these objectives and the days that they were planned.  What worked well in my favor is I had my goals and assigned dates for the mini-assignments.  The smaller assignments gave me other timeframes in which to backwards plan.

1. Final Paper/Presentation due April 28th

  • Prepare topic
  • Get topic approved
  • Scout primary and secondary resources
  • Submit preliminary draft
  • Submit final paper
  • Present to fellow classmates and instructor

2. Graduate Research Conference on April 24th

  • Consider topic (originally presented in December 2014)
  • Review instructor feedback
  • Refocus efforts on public (versus social) pedagogy
  • Scout for additional resources
  • Restructure position
  • Receive feedback from academic advisor
  • Present on April 24th

3. Receive the AZ Humanities Grant Fall 2015 for the Office of Veteran and Military Academic Engagement

  • Consider grant writing organization for grant writing graduate level course
  • Consider mission
  • Submit needs statement for class
  • Submit goals and outcome objectives for class
  • Submit methods for class
  • Submit budget for class.
  • Submit final grant proposal for class
  • Network with Nancy Dallett on a weekly basis
  • Submit intent to apply on April 24th
  • Submit application June 5th

Some things are easier to accomplish than others, because I have a built-in support network.  You can never discount the assistance of your team to accomplish your goals or the goals of your organization.

My instructor, Dr. Nakagawa, encouraged my classmates and I to submit our papers for the Graduate Research Conference.  I was incredibly hesitant to do so; while I love learning, educating others, and talking, I do not enjoy public speaking.  Yes, the irony is not lost on me.  As I get older though, I realize I do not like being the wallflower.  I don’t want others to represent me.  If I want my actions to be more visible in my community, I quite literally must be more visible.

With regard to my research paper, I have a slew of resources not typically available to non-recruiters to support my position on the Marine Corps’ recruitment of female applicants.  I have two recruitment dvds (2008 and 2011) featuring commercials, films, and videos plus the Marine Corps Enlisted Opportunities Book because my husband served as a recruiter.  I will also pull information from the Marine Corps’ Facebook page to help support my position.

Lastly, my grant writing class and rapport with Nancy Dallett, the Assistant to the Director of Veteran and Military Academic Engagement, are crucial to the work for the application for the AZ Humanities Project Grant.  My instructor and the TA give me feedback from my class submissions.  Winning this grant would be a wonderful opportunity for the Office of Veteran and Military Academic Engagement, my office (as the partnering office, if not one of the partnering offices), and our veteran students.  Wish us luck!

Lastly, another crucial area of backwards planning are the multitude of opportunities I’ve taken off my schedule to focus on my academic goals and our recent move. I missed out on Laverne Cox’s recent speaking engagement at ASU.  I decided to not apply for this round of the Edson Student Entrepreneur Initiative.  I think my idea for the initiative will gain momentum but right now my plan isn’t established well enough to be competitive.  I am not taking late summer courses so I have the time to commit to idea development starting at that time.  On the social realm, I bowed out of a friend’s wedding.  Financially, and with my work commitments, it isn’t possible to afford an out-of-state commitment.  As well, like last semester, my gym attendance has struggled.  I’ve put on some weight this semester, which I can easily lose once I resume my fitness habits.

I feel my GPA may not be as stellar this semester, but I will learn from my mistakes and my decisions.  9 credit hours is a bit too much to take on.  However, this choice has brought unique rewards in the form of unexpected opportunities.  We have a great rental home to enjoy.  We are building a financial cushion for ourselves.  I’m honing my grant writing skills and tomorrow, I’m talking to the Veteran Vision’s Project’s Devin Mitchell over the phone.  The world is an exciting place if you get out of your comfort zone (and plan your achievements)!

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Chemical Munitions In a Post-9/11 World

When I considered prospective military occupational specialities back in 2003, there were a number I instantly ruled out.  I don’t recall the specific conversation details except informing the recruiter I didn’t want a supply or admin job.  So many women join these fields; I wanted to do something different.  Communications didn’t interest me either.  I liked the idea of combat camera because combat illustration appealed to me, but I didn’t have a portfolio created at that time.  As a woman, infantry was not an option back then but the repeal of Direct Combat Exclusion Rule in 2013 opened the option for testing.  I am proud of the female enlisted Marines who graduated School of Infantry training November 21, 2013.  These women will not be infantry Marines, despite their accomplishments, but they are I will have a serious discussion with you all another day about my beliefs, curiosity, and encouragement for women’s expanded military roles.  I don’t feel the repeal of the Direct Combat Exclusion Rule would mean so much to me had I not served my country.  However, I found a relatively good path for myself as a 5711, Nuclear, Biological, & Chemical (NBC) Defense Specialist. (Note: When I got to my first unit, 1st Marine Division, I found out NBC was changing to Chemical, Biological, Radiological, and Nuclear or CBRN to more accurately reflect the myriad of threats.)  My title was then CBRN Defense Specialist.

Like always, I will be honest in my self-assessment.  I was not the best Marine to enter this field, but I was significantly challenged by this path instead of taking easier options available to me.  My timidness got to me on numerous occasions, particularly in the realm of public speaking.  This issue is problematic because CBRN Defense Specialists teach other Marines how to use their chemical defense gear, clothing, and decontamination procedures.  Adding to my personal stress over public speaking was my discomfort wearing a gas mask .  I have quite the irrational fear of drowning and suffocating to death, so the gas mask’s restrictive qualities create an additional layer of anxiety.

I am a better public speaker now because I challenged myself in the Marine Corps.  I’ve developed better critical assessment skills because I know my strengths and weaknesses.  I know it’s my responsibility to seek self-improvement and to not set low expectations.  I have great rapport with supervisors and many of my peers from 1st Marine Division.  We are a privileged group of individuals to do such diverse training.  This work is and always will be important to protecting the lives of the Marines under our care.

Chemical munitions pose significant health consequences, up to and including death.  The New York Times March 25, 2015 article about the Army’s apology to veterans with chemical injuries is worth reading.

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Honoring WW II Veteran Lucy Coffey

Last week, one of my instructors provided our class with information regarding the passing of Lucy Coffey, America’s oldest female veteran, .  I must admit I am not always as knowledgable about our veteran community as I would like to be, but learning about Lucy Coffey’s service in the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps is interesting.  I hoped I could find her Bronze Star citations.  So far, I’m not coming up with anything, but I’ll keep looking.

The world loses a lot of history with her passing at 108 years of age, which once again reinforces what I’ve discussed about veterans sharing their stories.  We have a very finite amount of time to educate others about who we are, our contributions to our service branches, how our service affects ourselves and lights a path for others to follow.  I hope her story continues to inspires others.

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”-George Elliot

Image courtesy of PBS.org
Image courtesy of PBS.org
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Veteran Vision Project: Walking Through Two Identities

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I have what I feel amounts to a small amount of photos from my service. As such, I enjoy seeing the Veteran Vision Project for restructuring the conversation about what it means to be a veteran. In these photos, we get a small glimpse of the dual identities veterans navigate.

I found one of the issues I struggled with in my own life was who do I want to be after having the honor of wearing Marine Corps uniforms for four years. When I started working for Kay Jewelers in 2007 after leaving the Corps, I adopted a new “uniform” of New York and Co. button down shirts, slacks, the occasional skirt, pantyhose, and kitten heels. My employment there ended in 2009 with our move to Wyoming and I quickly reverted back to my comfort zone of hoodies, shirts, jeans and sneakers. It’s an easy enough wardrobe to maintain and not look out-of-place back there.

I always found it a bit funny to see people primp themselves to take a trip to Walmart; however, it started to make sense when I realized you’ll run into just about anyone there. And I do prefer someone caring for their appearance (even a little too much) as opposed to someone walking down the aisles dressed in pajamas. Seriously, it’s not that hard to at least throw on a clean shirt and jeans.

I feel most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, but I also want to feel comfortable dressing my body as I age. My civilian work doesn’t require I be physically fit and as such, I’ve put on weight by adopting excuses for not maintaining fitness standards. Not much weight, mind you. My most comfortable weight as a Marine was 108 pounds and now I hover between 113 and 115 pounds. It’s not a drastic difference, but I’m certainly softer than I’d like to be. I am steadily forcing myself to fit exercise back into my schedule to drop my weight back to 108.

As I further own and find comfort in my civilian identity, I understand I owe myself grace on accepting the “new” me. I take on different responsibilities now and have different demands made of my time. This fact rings true especially as an employed person who is also a mother, wife, and graduate student.

However, I do want to share with you all photos that show the other side of me. I’ve been blessed to grow up in a time where print and digital photography collide. I had (and have) other people take my photo and from time to time, I also enjoy taking the occasional selfie. I am neither too shy to be photographed but not too vain to solely rely on selfies as a form of expression. I have a beautiful record of my existence as an American, my veteran status unknown to others in the my proximity when the photos were taken. While I cling more to my status as a veteran, my civilian side deserves recognition, too.

The two sides of me make up my whole person.

~Cheryl

My favorite female Marine, Sarah Kravitz (formerly, Cabell). I love this girl. She is my sister through and through. She is the best roommate I ever had in the Marine Corps. We still keep in touch.
My favorite female Marine, Sarah Kravitz (formerly, Cabell). I love this girl. She is my sister through and through. She is the best roommate I ever had in the Marine Corps. We still keep in touch.
Our wedding day 2006
Our wedding day 2006

2008

2007

2008 or 2009 photo, Frank Lopez, photographer (Oceanside, California)
2008 or 2009 photo, Frank Lopez, photographer (Oceanside, California)
My daughter and I when I had my "graduation" celebration.
My daughter and I when I had my “graduation” celebration.
We did a belated photo session in 2012 with Melissa Thompson from Pistachio Alley. I am behind on ordering my prints.
We did a belated photo session in 2012 with Melissa Thompson from Pistachio Alley. I am behind on ordering my prints.
Spartan Race 2014 with my husband
Spartan Race 2014 with my husband
Marine Corps Scholarship Fund Dinner 2014
Marine Corps Scholarship Fund Dinner 2014
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Homes for Wounded Warriors: Gilbert, Arizona

The weekend is upon us and I have some wonderful news to report.  Cory Remsburg, a local veteran who sustained significant injuries during his 2009 Afghanistan deployment, became the recipient of a home provided by Homes for Wounded Warriors.  The generosity of individuals who work for and support an organization like Homes for Wounded Warriors serves as a great reminder individuals around this nation have not forgotten the significant challenges some veterans face as a result of their service.

If you’d like to read his story, you can check it out on AZCentral.com.  There are some minor editing errors in the article, but we can forgive those mistakes.

Photo belongs to AZCentral.com
Photo belongs to AZCentral.com
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“Spring Break”: Then and Now (2005 & 2015)

March and April are slated to be busy months for me, busier than usually. As such, please accept my sincerest apologies for writing infrequently and for how this trend will continue for a bit longer. I recently finished up my “A” session course, turned in a midterm for my Women of Courage class, and my “B” session Grant Writing course picks up next week. Essentially, my spring break has disappeared. Not that spring break exists much as a social construct for working adults. I am fortunate though that other opportunities are opening up thanks to some personal connections. I am making strides with my “awareness” t-shirt ideas. I’m keeping those under wraps until I have some trademarked prototypes available.

I figured today is a good day to present a “Then and Now” series entry.  I wrote quite frequently after I came home from my first deployment.
Screen Shot 2015-03-11 at 7.11.38 AM

Please forgive me for how I referenced ‘recruiting duty;” I should have specified recruiter’s assistance, but I may have done so in other journal entries.

In my “2015” life, I have some updates, not really good for me, but great for other veterans. A family was matched with the Chandler, Arizona Homes on the Homefront Homes. We figured by this point we weren’t the recipients since so much time had passed, but it is helpful to have the confirmation. We continue to pare down our debts and it’s quite possible we can purchase a home later this year. I’ll keep you posted on that front when the time comes. Recently as well, I was also informed that my artwork for SVA’s Warpaint was not selected as one of the top pieces. However, it will be shown in Washington D.C. later this month. My tuition and fees are paid in full by my Post-9/11 GI bill benefits, so it is less relevant that I did not win the scholarship. I am happy though my artwork will be displayed.
Screen Shot 2015-03-11 at 7.15.06 AM

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Lady Brigade & i Rock the Boots Follow-Up Discussion

Recently, I mentioned Lady Brigade and i Rock the Boots because these companies are started up by female veterans and focus on supporting female military service awareness.  Earlier this week, I had the fortunate opportunity to meet Michelle Bravo from i Rock the Boots; although I didn’t intend to meet her, she was in our office to talk to our director and I introduced myself.  I wanted her to know that I wanted to accomplish something similar and looked to her (and Lady Brigade’s) designs because I did not want my efforts to infringe on their products.  I know we find ourselves in particularly challenging times because our society is built on competition and there is a fine line to be drawn between innovation and imitation.  I want to respect these women for their achievements.  They both took different paths than what I’ve planned for myself, which is not a bad thing at all.  These women have their own styles and I hope their clients appreciate the effort and quality of the products.

This being said, I think it’s important to delve more into what negative feedback is arising and think about why female veterans find themselves in this predicament.  Below are some more snapshots of comments from the Buzzfeed article about Lady Brigade.  The first one is worth really discussing, because not too long ago, I was asked to make a drawing that represented the notion of “make you own damned sandwich.”

Screen Shot 2015-03-05 at 10.11.12 PMBelow is the artwork I came up with:

No part of this artwork may be used without my expressed permission.
No part of this artwork may be used without my expressed permission.

 

This problem is a hegemonic view of women “belonging” in the kitchen. It is a statement not expressed specifically at women in the military but like other demeaning stereotypes geared towards women, this one has trickled down into the military. Apparently, a lot of people have caught on to their annoyance (or support) for this “Make me a sandwich (or sammich, depending on how dull one wants to sound)” statement. My Google image search brings up all sorts of interesting items:
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There is one image though that I do like regarding this topic. It is fun without being vulgar:
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Now, with my image, what do you think are the positive connotations being expressed regarding female veterans? As well, in what ways does the drawing reinforce stereotypes about female service members? There are no right or wrong answers, but please use consideration and clean language to comment on the matter. Thanks.

~Cheryl

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2005 v. 2015: My Homecoming Ten Years Later–Happy Birthday to Me

Turning 31 today was wonderful.  In fact, my whole weekend was great.  Last night, my family and I went out with some friends to a local pub.  Our kids got along well and I didn’t drink in excess.  However, I enjoyed watching my drunk husband…haha.  It was a good reminder of when we were dating.  He helped me out one night when I was incredibly drunk and our Marines planned an outing to the nearby Islands restaurant by our base for one of the Marines’ birthday.  I spent the night sitting out in the parking lot and he stayed with me.  I don’t know if anyone brought out food for him but I was too drunk to want food.  On a separate occasion, I stayed with him after he drank too much.  Last night I was his DD and our daughter did great staying up until almost eleven.  Normally, I wouldn’t let her stay up that late but it was a special occasion celebrating a friend’s 35th birthday (February 25th).

I was fortunate to speak to my twin earlier today as well.  We both mentioned the fact we cannot recall the last birthday we spent together.  I think it might have been our 18th.  She is still in Rhode Island with most of my family.  As kids there was one birthday where we thought about making each other the same black bottom cupcakes we saw in one of my mother’s cookbooks.  Perhaps the next time we are together again, we can make them.

Ten years ago, I came home from my first Iraq deployment so today will always be special for that reason as well.  Below are a few photos I took of that adventure.

image3 image2 image1

I didn’t write a journal entry that day but I wrote about how wonderful my homecoming experience was thanks to the Marines I traveled home with, the veterans who greeted us in Bangor, Maine and my work crew at 1st Marine Division:

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Today was all about spending time with my family except for the portion of my day spent finishing up homework for my class ending on March 3rd.  We are hoping to add a fuzzy family member to our family this year and met up with a local dog breeder for an hour today.  My husband and I were were truly impressed with their dogs; honestly, I’ve never met a breed of animal whose personalities varied so much.  We met one of their alpha females and a second female, whose temperament we liked better.  Thankfully, we are ok with waiting if the latter doesn’t produce a litter until later this year.

We also enjoyed lunch today at one of my favorite places, Liberty Market.  Normally, it’s one of our breakfast spots but they offer a $10 birthday discount so we finally went in for lunch.  We always have great service there and the food is incredible.

Aren't these beautiful?!
Aren’t these beautiful?!
I love this chocolate cake; we enjoyed a slice to celebrate.
I love this chocolate cake; we enjoyed a slice to celebrate.
Salt River Bars...because I'm always mentioning these things when we go there for breakfast. It's ok. It's my birthday. I can have two desserts.
Salt River Bars…because I’m always mentioning these things when we go there for breakfast. It’s ok. It’s my birthday. I can have two desserts.
Farmer sandwich with the side of the day.
Farmer sandwich with the side of the day.

It’s been wonderful enjoying a quiet day with my family. We’ve had a lot going on with our classes. I’m happy for the chance to enjoy slowing down, spending time with friends and my family, and taking the weekend off from work. Sorry I don’t have a photo of my family and I to commemorate this weekend. I like taking photos more than my family does. We’ll get an updated one here soon.

~Cheryl

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Sexual Harassment as a Junior Marine: My Personal Experience

I want to start off by saying, I love the Marine Corps.  Honestly, I do.  Some of the information I am sharing today will not convey this message.  I wrote the following journal entry back then in the midst of some degrading situations I encountered.  At times, I was greatly frustrated with my experiences as a Marine.  We are not without our problems as a military service branch, but I know throughout most of my experiences, the mentality of “taking care of one’s own” was drilled into us and I believe I’ve had a fair share of good leaders who valued their junior personnel.

I’ve also seen moments of downright poor leadership that I’ve talked privately about with friends and family through social media sites.  As the single female at my first unit, there were times inappropriate comments were made to or about me that never should have occurred.  Marines know better.  In fact, Americans in general know better.  Sexually harassment may not manifest itself on quite the same level or in quite the same ways as it did for past generations.  I think a significant part of that change involves equal opportunity in the workplace and also improved consequences for individuals who break the rules set in place.

In sharing my story, please pardon my language.  I’ve cut back on swearing, but back in 2006, I swore all the time.  I did leave out parts of my journal entry because the information I discussed was not relevant to the topic of sexual harassment.  I rambled on for a bit about my disappointment in American television shows, so I “cut out” the journal entry to focus more on the subject at hand.

~Cheryl

January 22, 2006

January 22, 2006 Continued

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