Each year, I remind myself I have no control over what my neighbors are going to do. On a day-to-day basis, I have no qualms with them. I have better neighbors compared to the couple whose garage was directly behind ours in our previous neighborhood and decided to park a car outside their garage, serving as an obstacle to us leaving or entering our own garage. I have better neighbors now (generally speaking) than those would occupy all the visitor parking spots in our previous neighborhood because their garages were full of crap they were too emotionally attached to that they weren’t parking their vehicles in the part of the house specifically design to HOUSE a car. (If you want to read an interesting article on America’s car and housing dilemma, NPR has a great piece on the matter.) Do I love all my neighbors now? No. But I am finding my new housing situation, established in January 2020, is better suited to my family’s lifestyle and a big upside has been reducing my exposure to fireworks throughout the year.

The reason I’ve been able to reduce my exposure is I am no longer bordered by two high schools that use fireworks as a celebratory tool during high school football games and graduation ceremonies. Taking these calendar days off my emotional plate leaves me with only the days surrounding the Fourth of July and New Year’s that locals are legally allowed to use novelty fireworks. Consumer use is permitted in my area from May 4th-6th (not sure when that got added!), June 24th-July 6th, and Dec. 24th-Jan. 3rd. People do not stick to legal fireworks though, so each fireworks season means there is an unknown exposure of people lighting illegal mortar tube fireworks that increases my anxiety. The prospect of a $1,000 civil penalty is not enough of a deterrent to keep people from using aerial fireworks. Given that I don’t meditate, I am working on coping in other positive ways. Each person can choose their own way, like indulging in hobbies, finding an area where fireworks are not permitted (and generally people abide by the laws), choosing counseling, medication, talking things out with friends or family, etc. to make this season a bit easier. There are many useful options. Pick a lane.

I knew back in June I wanted to ease the stress on my plate for the week of the 4th, especially in light of having to go to work the day after. I already discussed the menu I selected in my last post, PTSD & 4th of July Prep. Most of that prep went accordingly to plan, but we did forget the toppings of crushed chicharrones on the hot dogs and crushed peanuts in the salad. In these moments, I am a bit grateful to not be an food blogger; I am sure there would have been several comments about my mistake and perhaps many more about what substitutes I could use for 1) fish sauce, because people love or hate it, 2) Mexican crema, because people already have sour cream on hand instead, and 3) peanuts, you know, because allergies. Anyways, my family loved the menu, which makes me happy. It was easy to pull together in stages, allowing me the chance to spread out the labor ahead of the 4th and on the 4th so I didn’t feel I was held hostage to the kitchen. One of my favorite parts of making the meal was pulling the ice cream together. I’ve made ice cream for a few years now, but I didn’t realize I wasn’t preparing the custard to the proper temperature until this year. I used a thermometer instead of checking to see that the back of the spoon was coated. My guess is I was probably pulling it 10-20 degrees earlier than I should have because this year the custard was wonderfully thick when I checked it the morning after to put into the ice cream maker.

After enjoying our holiday lunch, but before digging into our ice cream, we settled into watching “Ender’s Game.” This past 4th was the first time I had ever watched the movie and I never read the book until 2005, after serving in Iraq. My husband, then boyfriend, introduced me to the book, along with Fahrenheit 451. It is not a bit ironic that both books are still relevant today as we watch the war in Ukraine continue to unfold and book censorship is on the rise. Ender’s Game chooses a very interesting way to approach “otherness” as it relates to war using an alien race rather than humans as the target. Being a war veteran, I also think the author’s use of young warriors draws parallels to military recruiting. There is a continued focus to weed out individuals with a host of disabilities or health issues, like allergies, so the fighting force is as ‘physically healthy’ as possible without considering that there are certain roles that could be designated as specifically state-side arrangements. If someone could not occupy a combat role for health reasons, let’s say they cannot eat MRE’s due to a food allergy, the military could still use their skillset stateside and this would just give them an opportunity to serve in the military. Maybe it wouldn’t lead to the same career success as someone who can complete combat tours, but why completely close off the chance to make use of their talents? I digress from my original objective of talking about the 4th today, but military recruiting is something I look at as part documentary/part horror story/part drama. There are so many facets worth dissecting.

My Fourth of July unfolded pretty much exactly as I wanted. For that, I am grateful. It was nice to start the day with a short run and a trip to Trader Joe’s for snacks and a gift for our daughter. Originally, I was thinking a bouquet of flowers, but they had the venus flytraps that she loves, so she got one of those instead. I quite enjoyed the squeals of delight from two toddlers present with their mother who also fawned over these while my husband and I were at the store. We shall see how long I can keep this one alive.

I stuck to my theme of red, white, and blue sans wearing flag apparel for the occasion. My friends and family can do what they want. I won’t judge them for flag apparel, but I am not comfortable wearing it myself.

While I was getting my makeup ready for the day, my husband finished prepping our holiday meal. He also made us a blackberry sangria to enjoy with our lunch. Trader Joe’s had 19 Crimes shiraz for $4.99 a bottle; I cannot remember what the package of blackberries costs us at the store, but it’s such a good time of year to pick up blackberries. The other drink he made for us was a peach sangria using the Oliver Winery Peach Pie wine we already had on hand. We paired limoncello with our homemade lemon Oreo ice cream.

As the day dipped down into evening, we stayed indoors to avoid exploding fireworks overhead on our walks. I do miss having evening walks this time of year since we experience triple digits during the day, but we already had one surprise firework on the 3rd and we needed a quiet evening at home. Leaving the tv on helps me cope more with the sound of fireworks. With the tv as background noise, I delved a bit more into It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. I struggled a lot with the beginning of the book, a recommendation from one of my best friends. The author’s introduction of one of the male characters just makes me want to scream to the female protagonist to get the hell away from that asshole. You know from the beginning the kind of person he’s going to be. The author’s saving grace of the story is her development of the male Marine. As you know, I have a soft spot for Marines, having served myself in the Marine Corps, and his character is what has allowed me to come close to finishing the novel. Once I am done with it, I will complete the companion novel, It Starts with Us. I was up until almost 11 due to fireworks, so it’s been a slow week of getting back to feeling like myself. But now that I am feeling more like me, I am looking forward to the weekend. There shouldn’t be any fireworks, we already have some fun plans for tomorrow, and I have a wonderful stack of novels, on top of these two, calling me to curl up on the couch because triple digits is no time to be outdoors.

~Cheryl