I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving this year. My family and I kept to a small celebration at home, not due to the pandemic still going on, but because it is something we favored this year. After watching all the recent travel issues though, impacted in one way or another due to the pandemic and misbehaving travelers on airlines, I don’t feel bad about it one bit. Most of our plans turned out exactly as intended, some things turned out better, and what didn’t work out all that well reminded us that sometimes we just need to follow our instincts.

Given that small celebrations don’t seem to receive much coverage in conversation, I am happy to share a small feast is still worth throwing in all the labor and going all out on meal preparation. I don’t know where the idea came from that if you’re only having a small gathering that it is in someway less special. Maybe things felt that way last year because people couldn’t connect in-person, but it is about the connections with the people who celebrate with you and not the total number of attendees that is important. I remember when I lost my mom the first year of doing holidays without her was incredibly rough. The memories of each holiday from the year prior crept back in my mind and our first Thanksgiving without her felt really empty.

Our society shies away from grief a lot, but it seems to be more present surrounding big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ads and shows are loaded with messages that everyone gets together. When our table was one short, it was bittersweet but I’ve noticed how the holidays became more meaningful afterwards. I became better at sorting through family conflict that arises when there are too many people trying to navigate in the same small spaces and instead saw the best my family had to offer.

I became more aware that our home gatherings were never disingenuous. It was typical that everyone brought something and that reality is something I still love knowing my family does, even when they gather and I’m not present. As a childhood fan of Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce, I could almost always recall that it would be sliced and fanned out on a platter for our family dinners. Deviled eggs, a family favorite, were kept pretty simple as were the mashed potatoes. I don’t think any of the dinner rolls that ended up paired with our annual holidays were homemade, but we liked them all the same. My family photographed our get-togethers with a different technology over the years: disposable cameras covered the events until they were replaced by digital cameras and later, when members started breaking out cellphones with camera features. As a result, some family photos weren’t all that great some years, but we’ve seen an improvement due to the fact we can now delete the bad copies and hold onto the ones that best represent our time together. We may have staged our homes to show off to loved ones, but nothing was staged like it is often now to create enviable social media content. My childhood was instead filled with more basic things like silly paper decorations, my parents breaking out the good dishes which they forced us kids to wash and dry by hand at the end of the meal, and cramming ourselves into the kitchen, dining room, or living room to talk to one another.

The tough thing for me as an adult now when I go to gatherings is I don’t want to see people breaking out their phones to avoid hanging out with other people. In those moments, I would happily prefer those individuals just stayed at their own homes than ruin what should be a fun time to connect. I think it’s one thing if we break out our phones to take a photo with each other or to highlight something neat someone made or a place that he or she visited. I feel it’s another thing entirely if you’re over there in the corner checking out the score for a sports game or scrolling through sites like Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. I try to be the person that if my phone comes out, I take the photo that I want and then I put my phone away. As such during our recent Friendsgiving adventure, I did not carry my phone at all. The dress I wore did not have pockets, so I stowed the phone away in my purse although I could have carted that thing around in my hand the entire time. There was only one moment that I wanted to bring out my phone and it was to share a jewelry company I found on Instagram that I wanted to share with another female guest. Instead, I shared the profile with our friend after the event so she could share it with this person.

For our family Thanksgiving, I think the only thing I truly wish I did differently was to compile a list of the meal’s cost. The modest size of our family does not translate necessarily into a cheaper dinner and I don’t want to give the false impression that our Thanksgiving Day menu was cheap. It wasn’t, but then again, I spaced out the purchases so I did not have a tally to bring this all together in a cut and dry way for my audience.

My goal was never to share our family dinner that way and I only thought about it as we began meal preparation. Instead, I wanted this post to be a good follow up to my last message that holidays are not the time to meal shame others for what is on or not on their plate. We did not engage in any daily calorie counting this entire weekend. I had my daughter draft a menu so she could contribute more in line with her interests as she sometimes gets bored cooking and baking with me with some of the tasks being more challenging for her. She decided, on her own, to annotate what was dairy free with one asterisk and put in two to denote items with two asterisks. For an 11 year old, she had a lot of fun putting this together for us.

FOOD

Next year, we may consider trying a Heritage turkey to see if it tastes much better than the Butterball brand ones.

The cranberry pie did not turn out as well as the other things and I used the recipe from Baked by an Introvert. It is my fault for testing out a different pie idea than following the recipe so same problem as my ice cream endeavor! The store bought pie shell was not deep enough to hold all 6 cups of slightly cooked cranberry filling and the pecan crust got a bit overdone, although not burnt. Next year, I’d like to make my own deep dish Oreo cookie crust and I would consider baking the filling a lot on the stovetop and putting the pie into the oven for a shorter time period. Our oven seems to run a little hot so for the earlier part of the bake, some of the cranberries got a little scorched on top. Since the pie recipe intends to create a jammy consistency, I don’t know that there would be much harm in cooking it more like a cranberry sauce on the stovetop and finishing it in the oven for a short time period to bond the filling and pie crust.

DRINKS

The Hot Toddy satisfied our drink wants for Thanksgiving Day, so we actually opted to make the gingerbread manhattans the day after. The sugar company’s website uses Rosso vermouth, which I did not have, so I used Extra Dry vermouth and gin is not something in my pantry. I replaced it with brandy and the drink still turned out well. Not as good as the hot toddy, but that is only because I prefer if I’m the one making cocktails that I don’t need to make them individually.

ENTERTAINMENT

While other Americans caught up on football for Thanksgiving, this weekend we opted for some Thanksgiving themed episodes of favorite shows to honor the occasion.

*Gilmore Girls “A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving” (One of our favorite episodes and this show is my favorite. We built our bacon wrapped sausage and pancake bundles as our replica of what Luke makes for Rory before she heads off to Yale.)

*Friends “The One Where Ross Got High” (Rachel’s trifle mishap is always worth rewatching.)

*Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Two Turkeys” (Parentsgiving. Enough said.)

Aside from far too tv time, we did take walks around our neighborhood and the Eastmark area to get out of the house a bit. The weather was great and I’m always up for looking to see what new homes might be cropping up elsewhere. Their Steadfast Farm and the surrounding area is really looking like it wants to compete with Agritopia’s little host of restaurants and farm down the line. There is certainly space for it to expand a bit more than what’s available in Agritopia and hopefully they do not suffer the same fate as Agritopia’s Epicenter that took forever to be built. In my opinion, most of the delays sounded like they were based on people’s disdainful remarks about mixed used development as a number of home owners scoffed at Gilbert growing its apartment offerings rather than issues like labor or material shortages being a factor. These apartments, by the way, aren’t cheap although for many it offers a solid roof over their heads when it is easy to be priced out of the housing market right now or deal with being financially unable to qualify for a mortgage. The smallest available square footage is is a studio coming in at 504 feet up to 1,590 square feet for their 3 bedroom, 3 bath unit. According to Apartment Finder, the smaller units are in the ballpark of $1,623 up to $4,890 for the larger ones. I think my fellow community members should keep in mind how crazy it is that someone cannot qualify for a mortgage as a younger person or someone rebounding from past financial issues, but he or she makes a sufficient salary to afford a luxury apartment with more amenities than some homes in this area. Food for thought.

Other than our foray around Eastmark on two separate occasions, I am happy to report we kept the weekend pretty simple. We don’t often go out shopping in-person for Black Friday or Small Business Saturday, either. A few drinks at Starbucks made up the most of our weekend in-person spending, which was nice. I love the Chestnut Praline Latte and an obligatory holiday cup photo is a must, I guess. I have liked some holiday designs more in the past few years, but I don’t get too wrapped up in these things. You won’t see me trying to get each version that comes out. I am happy enough (and so is my wallet) with a good cup of black coffee from home and I will cart it around in my Yeti Rambler Mug when we go out somewhere.

Our only real unplanned weekend outing was to pop into the mall to check out Atomic Comics. Black Friday weekend sales are usually why I avoid the mall this time of year, but I felt the comic book store was one of the least hectic parts of the mall we could visit. From what I gathered ahead of time from our Community Impact newsletter the business closed in 2011 and only recently opened a new location. Given my family’s interests in anime and manga along with a few other things, I thought they’d enjoy going there for a visit and I’d join along for the fun. I was most interested in finding out what collectibles and clothing items they might stock. Walking through the space, I kept thinking of the guys from “Big Bang Theory” and their days spent at Stewart’s comic book store. Thankfully, this one didn’t have a creepy guy behind the counter; all the staff members we encountered were quite respectful to us and the other customers. The store is still coming together, but I would ask prospective customers to not let the soft opening deter them from visiting. My favorite thing to check out was the large collection of Funko Pop! items. The Wall-e and Eve ones plus the one of Stitch are the ones I liked best, but they had a little bit of everything to include one of John Oliver. (Note: I opted out of taking photographs in the store out of respect to my fellow patrons, so sorry I cannot show off the wall of Funko Pops to you all today.)

With yesterday being the start of Chanukah, I felt this display from the mall was also worth sharing today. I don’t have too many friends who celebrate, but I don’t want their holiday to get glossed over between all the attention that Thanksgiving, shortly followed by Black Friday sales, and the jumpstart of Christmas shopping gets in our society. It is only in more recent years that I’ve started to see more recognition in our area for this holiday and it’s hard to know if it’s just that I wasn’t out and about when the decor showed up in our local area or if our community was behind the times in getting displays and decor items here. I want to live in an area that respects all beliefs and I know I am lucky to live in a time where more beliefs are celebrated and respected than when my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents grew up.

In our world that is so vast and in this season where we should be giving thanks, talking about what brings us joy, and discussing our traditions and favorite past times, I hope everyone can open their hearts to different ways of being and experiencing life. This past year has been a difficult one and as our global community has lost many members, it would be encouraging to hold fast to the positive lessons we learned growing up and to share our cultures, faith, and languages in ways that brings people together, rather than divides them as we start to close out the year.

“Menorah is the Hebrew word for lamp, and specifically refers to the seven-branched candelabrum that was used in the ancient Temple in Jerusalem. Thus, a hanukkiah, or Hanukkah menorah, is a type of menorah; every hanukkiah is a menorah, but not every menorah is a hanukkiah.” (Courtesy of My Jewish Learning)