I’m one of the many Americans disappointed Trump is back in office. I am not alone. Many people are taking different approaches to highlight his (and Musk’s) ineptitude and how the cruel actions of these two men are harming Americans and our global relations now that the new administration underway.
There’s so much I could say and want to say, but I love the slew of images capturing the situation right now. We’ve got some serious “Did that just happen?” stuff going on. Let’s dive right in.
September is that month I tend to gloss over. Here in Arizona, we are months into sweltering summer temperatures and I honestly have my sh*t full of it by the time September rolls around. It gets a ‘meh’ from me and I eagerly look forward to October, like some kids look forward to Christmas and presents. October is overwhelmingly a reset button for me. More than January. Years ago though, I became aware of September being Suicide Prevention Month and as a result, I feel I owe it a bit more as someone who has hit rock bottom and navigated their way out of feeling like there wasn’t something left to live for. And it’s not that I don’t like September. I just don’t like the September we get in Arizona. The high today was 115 today, and maybe last weekend or the one prior we had a sneak peek at fall with a high of 88. That was lovely.
With summer temperatures coming to an end eventually, I want to close out Suicide Prevention Month with a bunch of gratitude. This month our nation was again rocked with needless gun violence and my heart still stings for those families that lost loved ones in the September 4th school shooting in Georgia. There is nothing I or others can say to provide full justice for the victims, but I feel our nation is making steps in the right direction by starting to charge parents whose negligence are contributing factors to the events that unfolded. We saw it first with Jennifer and James Crumbley earlier this year and we see it with charges being brought up for Colin Gray, the father of Colt Gray, the student who shot his classmates and teachers earlier this month. The next steps outside the courtroom our nation will take though remain to be determined.
Knowing that so much is in the air, I want to cautiously say I don’t want people in the Republican or Democratic camp to rush judgement on this idea that so much of gun violence is rooted in mental health problems. What we’re seeing are anger management issues more than anything. Ticked off teenagers not getting what they want in life and resorting to violence as their “solution.” Again, I say this cautiously because there is a stigma about mental health and to hit gun violence with a wide brush as being caused by mentally ill persons further marginalizing those with mental health conditions. I have been open for a bit about dealing with PTSD for years and NOT ONCE when my life was feeling like it was falling apart did I ever considering harming someone else with a firearm because I couldn’t cope with life. Even when I contemplated self-harm, my goal wasn’t to find access to a firearm. The plan I had was still pretty dark, but utilizing different methods, and in spite of my self-hatred, there have been plenty of years I’ve safely used and maintained firearms. I have a deep respect for firearms, because I served in the Marine Corps and it is not a love for the M-16 that I was allowed to possess that kept me from abusing it. It was that the Marine Corps trusted me to possess it, use it safely, and return it to the armory when I was done with it. I still think (and I don’t want to scare anyone with this statement) on my darkest day if I had a firearm in the hotel room where I contemplated suicide, my mind would have still left it alone and only considered the other method.
I now utilize my healthcare through the VA, and I can almost bet I will forever have conversations with my care team at least once a year about whether I have access to firearms. They know my history of contemplating suicide in 2005, and I’ve talked to them about the positive coping mechanisms I work to utilize to reduce stress in my life. When they ask me questions, I know it’s from their responsibility to keep veterans and others in the community safe. They have to ask if our veterans have suicidal ideation or homicidal ideation. Those uncomfortable questions they have to ask in the nature of their duties matter, and if the parents in these school shootings had taken the circumstances more seriously preceding their children bringing weapons to school and assaulting their peers and done something similar, on their own or with the appropriate care teams, we might not have the additional gun deaths we do now. These human losses were something I brought up with my care team this month when I had a regular checkup. These attacks made me more on edge. It hurts me to know that more and more children are seeing their classrooms become warlike environments. Coming back from Iraq and seeing my fellow Americans have to fear going to school, shopping for groceries, driving down the interstate, this is not what America should be. And it can get better when we find gun access solutions that all political parties can get behind to reduce the frequency and intensity of gun violence. I know it’s unrealistic to say it will completely go away. Our communities started to change with the Columbine shooting April 20th, 1999 and it’s only gotten worse. What we’re currently doing isn’t working, so we must assess more policies and practices in place that pre-dated that particular tragedy and see if that helps, even though it must still be supplemented by a lot of new technology we find is working and training among community partners must continue. Preparedness is not to be discarded.
I dumped a lot more on here than originally intended. My heart has been full attending to my own family and struggling with these additional deaths. I love being a parent and to know others lost their babies is not something I can ignore. The extra days I’ve gotten with my own child in the aftermath of the September attack is not lost on me. We’ve had more time to do YouTube pilates workouts during the week. We went out to a fancy restaurant earlier this month as a family. Today, her and a girlfriend enjoyed a local trampoline park and I got to watch our fourteen year old and her friend be kids. I took photos of these young girls catching up for the first time in months. (They go to school online.) These girls are the same age as the assailant and, more importantly, the two students who died. But I did not just watch these girls have fun. I witnessed a community surrounding a little boy named Lincoln celebrate his ninth birthday. A handful of parents pulled up chairs adjacent to the trampolines to keep a close eye on younger kids, likely 3 or 4 years of age. The cashier and all the coworkers I saw were clearly teenagers. We live in a world where we should see our kids grow up and not die in their classrooms.
So to keep a long story from getting into too much of a longer story, decompressing has been a big part of the month for me. I’ve been working on appreciating my favorite month is around the corner. I hoard and share with friends a number of fun ghost images I find online, keeping me from needlessly purchasing autumnal decor and Halloween pumpkins. I opt to borrow library books, but I make exceptions for books I know I want in my personal collection. Kelly Bishop’s memoir is one such treat, because Gilmore Girls is my all-time favorite show. (Sookie Saint James is my favorite character from the series, and I think Melissa McCarthy was the perfect actress for the role.) Cooking also plays a big role in my life, which is why I relate to Sookie so much. It kept me busy when I was on terminal leave in 2005 and I see that it has helped in managing my PTSD. I am not the best at always staying present when stress creeps in, but cooking forces me to slow down and pay attention. When I don’t, I screw up something in the recipe (usually, it’s adding an ingredient in late or not at all). The yeasted rice and coconut recipe I shared below is from In Bibi’s Kitchen: The Recipes and Stories of Grandmothers from the Eight African Countries That Touch the Indian Ocean by Hawa Hassan with Julie Thursten. It’s a recipe that requires planning ahead, so I am constrained to make it during the weekend when I have more time to soak the rice. If all goes well, I can make it tomorrow. If I screw it up, it’s next weekend’s project. To close things out for the night, I am enjoying Trader Joe’s Ginger Drink warmed up. It’s still hot AF (103 currently outside), but I’ve been indoors for a bit and the A/C is making me chilly. Since you took the time to stick with me for this long-winded entry, I want to say thank you. I wish you and yours a safe and happy weekend and a good month ahead. See you back here in October.
~Cheryl
This election season has been the worst I’ve ever recalled. As fraught as I thought the battle was between Trump’s incumbent attempt for a second term and Biden running up against him, this one has me questioning why so many Americans gloss over Trump’s self-centered nature, history of and ongoing legal issues, and poor communication skills riddled with irate, devoid of facts tangents. While I don’t always expect a candidate to communicate to the best of their abilities (we’re all human), his attitude is something I find continues to bring out the worst in people–and some people love it. Gross. He doesn’t really ever have something nice to say about anyone. He just makes enough of a casual comment to build a base of people loyal to him or people swing his way when their other goals don’t get them what they want. The lack of backbone in some of the higher level Republicans–Ron Desantis being one of them–is a key point that disgusts me on where the Republican party is at today. Even Trump’s selected running mate, JD Vance, didn’t like him and swung his opinion to open up a job opportunity for himself.
Why Let A Misogynist and a Bigot Decide What’s Right for Women, Immigrants, and People of Color
I am not the first to point out Trump loves himself. And really let’s be honest, he only loves himself. I won’t let his slew of children through three marriages convince me that he’s a good man. You can be a parent and a partner and still be a crappy human being. Those personal roles in society can be separate from and/or intertwined identities with one’s public life. I think he loves the power differential he brought into his relationships and likely conducts himself that way with his children, too. It’s one thing though to act that way within your own familial group; it’s another when you try to lord over a nation. He did that before, and I don’t want to see him do that again.
Just a few of the ways he’s professed and acted upon his disdain of women:
These are not things to take lightly. While I have not been personally attacked by him like the women mentioned in these situation, I have encountered men in my life that treated me just as poorly. It is the responsible thing to protect women (and men) from those that harm them physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. In my case, one ex tried to let his friends see me in a state of undress, without my consent. The pain from that still shows up in my life and on one level, I am lucky none of those present attempted to rape me, but not all women (men, or children) find themselves in a lesser state of harm. I didn’t report it in the Marine Corps because I had leadership that I felt didn’t care about me. In a different situation, I found the leadership looks above and above for my wellbeing (in ways that weren’t shared with me) after a former partner and fellow Marine threatened to harm me. Why should we allow this misogynist make decisions that impact the welfare of slightly more than half the population? Women are estimated to be 50.5% of the United States population based on US Census Bureau 2023 estimates and the paid and unpaid labor we do to support ourselves, perhaps children and partners, directly impacts the wellbeing of the economy.
Women, as a segment of the United States population, are only one of the groups he discriminates against. We dealt with a Muslim ban in 2017 and he shows no remorse for his decision, still reflecting a desire to keep out others he finds unworthy to be in the United States because they do not share his values. Black Americans haven’t been safer under the former president or respected as he has been quoted numerous times disparaging them along with members of the LGTBQ+ community and GLAAD outlines his poor behavior over the decades. All I see is a number of people flock to him because they hate Democrats, not because he brings anything of value to the table. All that he seems to do is stir up trouble. To this day, he continues to think the presidential election was stolen from him and he doesn’t find himself at fault for the Jan. 6th, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol.
Why Let A Felon Run a Country When They Can’t Occupy Lesser Authoritative Roles in Society
Switching to another important topic. His behavior over the years hasn’t been limited to hurt feelings. He has committed harm to individuals and communities, also putting our country at risk. He feels entitled to women’s bodies as his playthings, uses his platform to endanger others, and is lazy in how he attending to his records access in his previous role and thereafter. For his actions, he was sued by E. Jean Carroll and found guilty of defamation and sexual abuse, ultimately resulting in a $5 million judgment. The fact his classified documents case was recently dismissed doesn’t undo the fact he should not have possessed the records and we’ll see what the appeal process looks like on that issue. I protected secret classified information on my first tour in Iraq, so it’s a huge slap in the face to the work we do as service members (and to our civilian counterparts that do much the same) that he took and retained the documents, like it was an inconsequential action. And lest we forget about those 34 felonies he’s sitting on at this point in time. NPR lists them nicely, if you’d like to review them for the first time or for recall purposes. And he wants to run the country again?
We keep felons out of a slew of other jobs and industries (for good reason), but he wants to be our President, 34 felonies to his name. To protect vulnerable and potentially vulnerable persons, we put a lot of restrictions in place on who can become a teacher, work in the medical community, and operate in our banking industries. We won’t allow someone to go into the FBI with a felony conviction, but as a presidential prospect, he wants to come to the table with not one but 34 felonies. 34. Can I say that enough?! A dishonorable discharge veteran, by comparison, who has committed offenses like murder, espionage, fraud, desertion, and sexual assault does not have the same clout as the former president as they move forward with their lives: they will lose access to VA benefits, aren’t qualified for federal service, cannot own firearms, and will often run into challenges accessing other government programs and benefits. Because I am attempting to restrain the length of today’s blog, here’s BBC’s July 15th, 2024 article on his four criminal cases for further study.
Why Let Someone Become the Commander-in-Chief Again when He Disrespects Military Service
As I previously mentioned, our society severely restricts benefit access to dishonorable discharge veterans. We (our society) do a lot to remove the means for them to achieve significant financial achievement and security. Gone is the avenue to have a VA-backed home loan. Did you want to use VA education benefits? Sorry, cannot have that either. You could have sustained serious illness or injury, but our government is not entitling you to VA disability compensation either. Go find another means to navigate through your suffering. At most, you might still be eligible for VA healthcare. (Note: One can apply for a character of discharge upgrade, but it’s not guaranteed it will be approved.) These things are not likely ever on Trump’s mind. His behavior indicates only a strong interest about his own welfare and opportunities.
Like his verbal assault on women, minorities, and immigrants, he thinks little of our service members, veterans, and fallen. How are veterans not disgusted with the fact he called our community members and war fallen heroes ‘losers’ and ‘suckers’? He has relentlessly picked fights with members of the military-affiliated community or looked down his nose upon the sacrifices made by our nation’s military members and Axios is but one organization that marks those instances. I am a two-time Iraq war veteran and our nation lost 275 service members during my first tour. Trump’s demeanor is nothing but an insult to their families who have had to move forward without their loved ones. And he couldn’t even be civil to fellow Republican Nikki Haley and respect her husband’s military service when they were both vying for the Presidential nomination. As someone who flouted every opportunity to avoid Vietnam service, he does not have my respect. I was 20 when I volunteered THE. FIRST. TIME. to serve in Iraq. We are two very different types of Americans. I care about seeing our nation move forward and he’s one who wants to see it take a large detour backwards. We are beyond fortunate that his attempt to reduce VA disability compensation for individually unemployable veterans did not have enough backers to go through. Our nation struggles enough with homelessness among the veteran community: we don’t need to add to it with inappropriately reducing benefits for those in need.
Please Vote Carefully
There’s not a whole lot more to say other than I wish every person voting this year looks critically at all candidates and issues up and down the ballots. My choice to leave the Republican party behind has not transpired into wholly believing all Democrats have good intentions. Senator Bob Menendez’ 18 convictions this year is a good case-in-point. His misuse of his position is appalling and it’s a great thing for our nation that he’s resigning from his position. In closing, I’d also like to mention over the years I’ve voted for Republican and Democrats. I don’t believe that because I was a Republican that my duty was to vote along party lines. Each candidate brings a different type of experience, education, and perspective to numerous problems the United States faces and I hope as a nation, we work more each day towards bipartisanship and away from the political division that has eroded our nation significantly in the past 10-20 years. I want to enjoy a better American experience today for myself, my family, and for the people that look to the United States as a land of opportunity and a leader on the global stage. We cannot be as great a nation when the amount of infighting erodes our ability to govern effectively and makes us look like dysfunctional siblings instead of competent and respectful leaders across our local and global communities.
She Wears Dogtags 